Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

Extinction of certain plants and animal species is now a major issue of our time. It is argued that the worsening case of biodiversity must be the priority over any other environmental problems. In spite of that, I believe that

climate

change

is more important because it has the greatest impact compared to other global issues.

Climate

change

must be the top priority because it is the root cause of all the other global issues we are facing in today’s generation. The increasing temperature

due to

greenhouse gas emissions and the changing weather in different parts of the world is damaging food production, biodiversity, and human health.

For instance

, Filipinos

experience

Wrong verb form

have experienced

show examples

higher temperatures in the

last

decade which

leads

Wrong verb form

has led

show examples

to the rising use of air conditioning units, without that appliance people might suffer from heat stroke or heart attack. Another one is higher rainfall which causes catastrophic floods in plantations and the loss of lives. In those circumstances, I do think that

climate

change

is the most significant matter that we must confront today. The loss of animals and other living organisms is one of the negative effects of

climate

change

however

, it must not be the sole reason. Human activities shall

also

hold

Wrong verb form

be held

show examples

accountable for the endangerment of biological diversity. Fortunately, laws and awareness campaigns have been created now to stop deforestation and other harmful activities. Since those have been made, people now are more concerned with endangered animals and species of other living organisms.

However

, I do not think that

this

matter should be set aside because biodiversity is still in danger. In conclusion,

while

addressing how to protect the lives of animals and other organisms, I believe that it is best to resolve

first,

climate

change

because it is the main cause of other global issues.

Submitted by angeline07 on Wed May 31 2023

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task response

You have presented a comprehensive response to the essay question. You have established a clear position and supported it with relevant examples. Make sure to further develop your introduction and conclusion to provide a stronger framework for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and presents a clear progression of ideas. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more explicitly linked to the topic and provide a stronger sense of closure.

lexical resource

You have employed a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas effectively. Consider using more specific and varied vocabulary to enhance the depth of your discussion.

grammatical range

Your essay exhibits a good command of grammar, with a varied and accurate use of complex structures. In certain places, ensure that subject-verb agreement and article usage are consistent throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

more and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. What might be the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree or with this