The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain

according to sex and age.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.
Those bar charts depict
people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
several ages and sex in
music
listening. It is clear from the graph that many
people
love
Pop and
Rock
music
.
According to
what is shown
people
in 45+
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
listen to classical
music
rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
Pop and
Rock
, but most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
males and females
Love
rock
music
with 25% for males and 15% for females respectively.
Moreover
, we can
noticed
Change the verb form
notice
show examples
that not just 45+
people
love
classical
music
because
people
in the 25 to 30 has more than 15%.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
the females wear equal in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Pop and
Rock
music
and it was the same in the 45+.
To sum up
, we could say that many
people
love
Rock
music
until the 45+ ,but
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
less than 10%.
Moreover
,
it is clear that
a lot of
people
in 16 to 24
heat
Correct your spelling
hear
show examples
classical
music
.
Submitted by qazwsxcvbnm1452 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, music, love, rock with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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