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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others believe that it is a waste of money since people can access the internet at home to obtain information.Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #government #libraries #town #waste #money #access #internet #home #information
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It is irrefutable that
libraries
 are one of the most important places for
people
 who want to improve their knowledge.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who want to read lots of
books
 think that the government should build in gratis
library
 in every town. Other
people
 who like to utilize the internet, say that
libraries
 are not important to their life because they can consume social
media
instead
 of going to the
library
 and they think that building many new
libraries
 would be a waste of public money.
This
 essay intends to discuss both sides of the disagreement. Nowadays, all
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make an effort to increase their knowledge by utilizing
technologies
instead
 of
books
 and they think that
technologies
 which are counted social
media
 and websites are more useful than
books
. Some
people
 read
books
 from different websites and they think that websites and other
technologies
 are more modern. If they can not find something in
books
, they will define it on the internet and
also
 now the age of technology, so, every person can use different
technologies
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 who watch lots of videos on "youtube" Never be successful because social
media
 are only for studying.
That is
 why, some young
people
 prefer to go to the
library
 which is located in the centre of the town and it has
also
 so many
books
 to read but nobody read them. Actually, paper
books
 are more profitable than e-
books
, so our eyes begin to blush.
Also
, every e-book or other social
media
 has radiative waves which are really dangerous for
people
.
To sum up
, each person should go to the
library
 in the centre of the town and all
people
 need to
libraries
. Government should establish free
libraries
 in each region and
this
 is not a waste of money because
libraries
 can help children who do not have cell phones and others.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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