Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #people

In recent years, young

people

are said to be influenced by the glamour and wealth of famous

celebrities

rather than their mere achievements. Some

people

say that

this

is not a good example for younger generations and I completely disagree with

this

notion.

Firstly

, the glamour of famous

celebrities

does not automatically means

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

example to young

people

. Adolescents nowadays have several

idols

that they look up to and they considered them as

source

Add an article

a source

the source

show examples

inspirations

Fix the agreement mistake

inspiration

show examples

Furthermore

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

and glamour of known media personalities serve as models for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children and young adults to help them improve their

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

by dressing more confidently.

Such

an example is the popular group of K-pop

idols

, BTS,

this

group has greatly influenced the kids of

this

generation with their glamorous fashion and because of

this

, these young

people

begun

Add the auxiliary verb

began

have begun

show examples

to think more creatively

Change preposition

about

show examples

how they can

mixed

Change the verb form

be mixed

mix

show examples

and match their clothing in reference to their

idols

styling.

Secondly

celebrities

showing off their wealth and lifestyle

also

gives a positive impact

Change preposition

show examples

children and young adults.

Theses

Correct your spelling

These

show examples

kids will set their goals in life in order to be wealthy because of what they see

Change preposition

show examples

their

idols

. They will remind themselves to study harder to get a better future and be able to achieve

such

lifestyle

Correct article usage

a lifestyle

show examples

Additionally

, having

such

Change preposition

apply

show examples

inspirations

Fix the agreement mistake

inspiration

show examples

will encourage young children to learn how to save in order to be wealthy. On

the

Correct article usage

show examples

final note, I believe that famous

celebrities

can always be a source of

inspirations

Fix the agreement mistake

inspiration

show examples

to younger generations by showing them how to present themselves in a fashionable style and telling them that working hard is essential to achieve a wealthy lifestyle.

Submitted by aragoza.donieray on Thu Jun 01 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

superficial attributes
sensationalism
idolize
materialism
philanthropy
glamour
achievements
role models
humanitarian
influence
media portrayal
public adoration
celebrity worship
young individuals
unrealistic standards
intellectual success
public interest
professional recognition

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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.