IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need of manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree? Agree

#advances #technology #automation #labour #hours
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 era,
development
Use synonyms
 in
technology
Use synonyms
 and automation have declined the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 or
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will describe
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
my opinion. A popular belief is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 having
technology
Use synonyms
 and automation has been considered as an essential thing for human activities
such
Linking Words
 as
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 productivity and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 faster.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, well-qualified people who consider
technology
Use synonyms
development
Use synonyms
 could gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of options rather than
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manual labour, because individuals can follow the modern era to
use
Use synonyms
 cutting-edge technologies as important elements to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 environment at work. Even though directing
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 has difficulties and failures to manage, organize, or utilize,
technology
Use synonyms
 has a huge opportunity to obtain a better result.
For example
Linking Words
, if citizens focus on
technology
Use synonyms
 growth to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity, they will earn more
revenues
Fix the agreement mistake
revenue
show examples
 and
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, focusing on
technology
Use synonyms
 could incline the amount of good-quality
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 not only for today but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 for
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 days.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several issues or problems, to develop or evolve the
technology
Use synonyms
 to become crucial and famous in society’s view by having high cost and unemployment. First thing
first,
Linking Words
having terrible
obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
show examples
 in
technology
Use synonyms
 research could obtain and increase
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
development
Use synonyms
, because several inhabitants have
wish
Change the verb form
wished
show examples
 and hope about the easiness of financing.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
unemployment could become negative impacts or consequences, because society will not agree, support, and advocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
technology
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 developments have an ideal opportunity to become potential incomes, these technologies and
automations
Correct your spelling
automation
 could not be
implementative
Correct your spelling
implementation
 and acceptable, because
technology
Use synonyms
 can make people
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, if several societies understand and comprehend
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
technology
Use synonyms
 impact, they will appreciate the meaning of
Use synonyms
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 to avoid feeling hesitant in society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, technologies have been assumed as good elements for
society’s
Unnecessary verb
society
show examples
 to know and admit the
technology
Use synonyms
 opportunity
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some years ago until today’s era. In conclusion, in my opinion, I agree to
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 and automation for developing
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
, because it can make more
revenues
Fix the agreement mistake
revenue
show examples
 and
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 from the effectiveness of
Use synonyms
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
.
Submitted by faridhuzairi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: