IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people argue that managers are responsible for the organisation's success, while others think various features of the organisation play a vital role in it. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #organisation #success #features #role
From my own perspective, both statements are true
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
managers
 are responsible for the
organization
's success and various aspects affect play a vital role.
However
, I'm leaning towards the
managers
, as an individual asset, as one of the important parts of the organisation.
Firstly
, the
organization
 is about the people. We can't run everything without the people in it. In order to create the system and orchestrate it,
as well as
 the maintenance, humans still play a big part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
.
Secondly
, high-level management or we can say
managers
 and above are the decision makers to bring the organizations into a certain state. With that being said, a manager's quality will decide the success of the organisation judged by how they decide and prioritize things.
Last
,
managers
 will be the ones who create the company's culture including the system
as well as
 the values of the
organization
along with
 other top-level management. Attitudes, personalities,
andcommunication
Correct your spelling
and communication
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
 they use on a daily basis in
workspace
Add an article
the workspace
a workspace
show examples
 will be adopted by their subordinates and as time goes by it will become
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
identitiy
Correct your spelling
identity
 that can distinguish them from other organizations.
To sum up
, those three aspects make me believe that an
organization
's success is influenced by the manager and their qualities.
Therefore
, it's important to have top-notch qualified
managers
 around.
Submitted by regia.shofriyah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!