Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

It is certainly true that today
people
rely on
machines
to done
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
rather than by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
. In my perspective, the upsides of
this
trend outweigh the downsides. In terms of drawbacks,
First,
using technology to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
encourage
people
to adopt
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle.
For instance
, nowadays,
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
depend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
machines
in order to clean
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dishs
Correct your spelling
dishes
or clothes
instead
of doing
this
by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
this
negative trend because doing
by
Correct pronoun usage
it by
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
exercise and
burn
Correct subject-verb agreement
burns
show examples
calaories
Correct your spelling
calories
.
Therefore
, increase
the a
Choose an article
the
show examples
chance for
people
to develop serious diseases
such
,
obesity
Change preposition
as obesity
show examples
, heart attack,
cancer
Correct word choice
and cancer
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
people
lose their skills to deal with
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
, which means if any cut down of electricity occurred
people
face challenges to cope with their
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
.
However
,
despit
Correct your spelling
despite
these downsides, I would like to argue that the pros outweigh the cons ,
Firstly
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on
machines
to doing works
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
can
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
a considerable
time
for individuals.
This
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
people
spend a lot of
time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
work and they do not have enough
time
to do house works by their
hands
, which means
machines
can create
time
for
people
to relax or spend
time
with their families
instead
of doing
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
,
also
this
help
people
to achieve work-life balance.
Secondly
,
machines
can
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a key role to protect
people
from
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
diseases
Change preposition
of diseases
show examples
.
For example
, putting dirty clothes in washing
machines
is more safer than doing it by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
.
As a result
, help us to stay healthy away
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
viurs
Correct your spelling
viruses
and bacteria.
To sum up
, it seems to me that the benefits of utilized of
machines
in order to
doing
Change the verb
do
show examples
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
work
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
far
significant
Correct quantifier usage
more significant
show examples
than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Manual labor
  • Displacement
  • Homemaking skills
  • Technological advancements
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy efficiency
  • Social dynamics
  • Operational understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: