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Writing Samples
Band 6

Social media is becoming more and more trendy today, what are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media?

#media
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It
certainly
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is certainly
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 true that today social
media
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 has become
popular
Add an article
a popular
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 way to communicate among
people
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the upsides and downsides of
communicate
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communicating
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 via technology. Regarding drawbacks,
Firstly
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, social
media
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 can have
a negative impacts
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a negative impact
negative impacts
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in
Change preposition
on
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 individuals.
This
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 is because lack of face-to-face interaction, which can
leads
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lead
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 to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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people
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 isolated and
introvert
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introverted
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.
Therefore
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, they can struggle with mental health issues
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 depression,
anxiety
Correct word choice
and anxiety
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, which can increase
the a
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the
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 chance of
commite
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commit
 suicide among
people
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.
Secondly
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,
communicate
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communication
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 through social
media
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 encourage individuals to adopt
sedentary
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a sedentary
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 lifestyle.
For example
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,
people
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nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
, spend a considerable time in front of smartphones or computers to chat with
people
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 without movement.
As a result
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,
people
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 are more likely to develop serious diseases
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 obesity, heart attack.
On the other hand
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, there are several merits of
interact
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interacting
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modern
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with modern
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 technology. To being with,
people
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 can stay in touch with loved ones regardless of
geographically
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geographical
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 location utilizing technology.
For instance
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,
people
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 who study or work abroad can use Facebook or
twitter
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Twitter
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 to make
video
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a video
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 call with their families or friends ,
this
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 can
contributes
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 to
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
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 the relationships among members of society. Another advantage of social
media
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 is
environmentally
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an environmentally
the environmentally
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 friendly method
to
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of
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communicate
Replace the word
communication
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. To illustrate,
people
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 can keep in touch with their friends
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
 social
media
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 rather than using cars to meet their friends.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can assist to minimize
the
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apply
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traffic congestion
as well as
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 carbon footprint ,which contributes to
mitigate
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mitigating
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 climate change and global warming.
To sum up
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, social
media
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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play a key role in modern
live
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life
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,
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however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 there are merits and demerits of using social
media
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.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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