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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some People think that exercice is the Key to health, white others feel that having a balanced diet is more imrortant. Discuss both sides an give your opinion

#people #exercice #health #diet #imrortant #give
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Health
 is essential for us to keep going on with our daily lives. Without
health
, our regular activities will be hampered.
Hence
, it is important for us to keep our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 as fit as possible. In my opinion, there are many ways to keep us healthy, either by doing a regular workout or simply by eating healthy food. The following essay will discuss the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of
both
 activities. Nowadays, there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of platforms and tools that we can use to track our
health
. Gym locations are spread all around the globe. People will find it very easy to go there and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 their exercises. Doing a regular workout have many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 for our body.
For instance
, it will burn
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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fat, increase your heart rate, feel
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
calm and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 if we join yoga class, and the most important thing is for us to feel fresh. These activities will elevate our
health
.
In other words
, balancing our diet by eating healthy and fresh food
also
 will make us healthy. We can find
this
 type of nourishment very easily,
such
 as in the supermarket or traditional markets around us. We should measure our calories prior
eating
Change preposition
to eating
show examples
 and pill out our plate with carbohydrates, fresh fruits, vegetables, and other nutrition. By doing
this
 clean eating, we can keep our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 fit and fresh. In conclusion,
both
 doing exercises and eating
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
show examples
 diet
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important for us to keep healthy. If we only do one, it will be useless.
Therefore
, it is necessary if we do
both
 simultaneously
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
both
 of them are complementing one another.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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