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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for the childern to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. puninshment is necesssary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment parents and teachers be allowed to use?

It is often argued that
children
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 should learn the difference between right and wrong from a young age, and that
punishment
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 is necessary in helping them learn
this
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. I partly agree with
this
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 view, but I believe the type of
punishment
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 used should be carefully considered by both parents and teachers. On
one
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the one
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 hand, it is true that teaching moral values at an early stage is important.
Children
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 are more likely to grow into responsible adults if they understand what behaviours are acceptable in society. When a child does something wrong, some form of
punishment
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 may help them realise their mistake and remember not to repeat it in the future. Without any consequences,
children
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 may not take rules seriously.
However
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, I believe
punishment
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 should never be harsh or physical. Physical
punishment
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, like hitting or shouting, can damage a child’s confidence and lead to fear, anger, or even long-term emotional problems.
Instead
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, parents and teachers should use milder forms of discipline,
such
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 as time-outs, taking away privileges, or calmly explaining why the behaviour was wrong. These approaches teach
children
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 responsibility
while
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 still showing care and respect.
Furthermore
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, positive discipline should
also
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 be used. Rewarding good behaviour can be just as effective as punishing bad behaviour. When
children
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 receive praise or rewards for doing the right thing, they are more likely to repeat those actions.
This
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 approach helps create a positive environment where
children
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 feel motivated to improve. In conclusion, I agree that
children
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 must learn right from wrong early in life, and that some form of
punishment
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 may be helpful.
However
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, only non-violent and constructive methods should be allowed, as they are more effective in the long run and avoid causing harm to the child’s well-being.

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task achievement
Make sure to support your ideas with specific examples. For example, you could mention a situation where a mild punishment helped a child understand their mistake.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph sticks to one main idea to keep it clear.
task achievement
For stronger arguments, consider explaining why non-violent methods are more effective in detail. This can make your main points clearer.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which is a strong start.
coherence and cohesion
You present a good balance of ideas, agreeing and disagreeing with the role of punishment in teaching children.
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