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Writing Samples
Band 3

one of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #shortage #food #think #foods
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Nowadays,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of food all over the world is becoming
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 problem and leading some people to believe that the only way to solve
this
 is
consuming
Change preposition
by consuming
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 genetically modified
foods
. I totally disagree with
this
 idea for several reasons. In my opinion, consuming artificial
foods
 is a way for numerous diseases like cancer, allergy, weakening
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
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 and so on.
For instance
, genetic modification of food passes
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
through many chemical processes during its production which means no natural content is included in it.
This kind
Fix the agreement mistake
These kinds
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 of
foods
 are enriched with lots of vitamins as having
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full of vitamins leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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obesity of people.
Furthermore
, people having GM
foods
 are facing some illnesses like cancer that cure for disease enquires not little endeavour, how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 stress they can face up with and how much money they spend for
this
.
Moreover
, it seems to me,
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 of
genetic
Replace the word
genetically
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 modified
foods
 can cause for losing some kind of natural products completely by the time
due to
 not cultivating plants, paying not enough attention for raising
a
Correct article usage
apply
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cattle and others. To come
to conclude
 that
i
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I
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am completely disapprove
Change the verb form
completely disapprove
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 of
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
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 consumption of artificial man-made products as a solution for
lackage
Correct your spelling
lack
package
leakage
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 around the world.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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