IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
start
Fix the infinitive
to start
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 learning
other
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another language
other languages
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language
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 at primary or secondary
school
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. It is undeniable that learning
foreign
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a foreign
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language
Use synonyms
 at primary
school
Use synonyms
 has become an essential part of our life.
However
Linking Words
, there is no absolute agreement as some people find learning at primary
school
Use synonyms
 beneficial,
while
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 others consider everything associated with learning at primary
school
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 negatively. Surely, there are both pros and cons to recognition
a
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of a
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foreign
language
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 at primary and secondary
school
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, but I believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. On the one hand, if you start learning
languages
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 from elementary
school
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, it will be easier every
time
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.
Furthermore
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, in the
future
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future,
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 it will be easier to understand and enhance knowledge about
language
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, Since 2014, residents started learning
languages
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 from primary
school
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 and if human beings compare with other years before 2014, they can see that the number of people with knowledge of
languages
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 has increased significantly. So it
show's
Correct your spelling
shows
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 that acquisition
languages
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 from the beginning
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school
Change preposition
of school
show examples
 has a lot of pros.
On the other hand
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, it has a lot of cons.
For example
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,
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
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 less
time
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due to
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 the acquisition.
Since if
Correct word choice
If
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 children study from an early age, they will have little
time
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 for other areas and for childhood. An example
for
Change preposition
of
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this
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 is that 20% of the students said that they did not have enough
time
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 for themselves and for childhood and they all became withdrawn.
To sum up
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, learning
languages
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 from an early age has disadvantages,
although
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still
Add a comma
still,
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 the benefits of learning are greater.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Task Response
The introduction provides a good context but could be clearer in presenting the thesis statement. Try to clearly state your main argument and outline the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that each paragraph covers one main idea. For example, separate the advantages and disadvantages more effectively.
Task Response
Use more specific examples to support your points. This helps in making your argument more convincing and detailed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on sentence variety and avoiding repetition. This will improve the flow and readability of your essay.
Task Response
Expand on why you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages to provide a more complete response to the prompt.
Task Response
The essay identifies both advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at primary school versus secondary school.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay attempts to offer rationale for both perspectives, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
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