IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #books #waste #resources #media #software #videos #dvds
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The majority of
people
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 are debating about public library functions which are expected to have printout
books
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 only
instead
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 of spending more
money
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 on upgrading advanced technologies like computers and recorded sources.
This
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 writing will discuss that despite
an
Correct article usage
the
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 enormous amount of
money
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 spent on buying high-tech media, I believe that the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks. It is undeniable that the most up-to-date gadget
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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 an arm and a leg which forces
libraries
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 to save up more in order to afford one software.
This
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 makes the public feel that the outgoings should be used to buy more
books
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instead
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 of focusing on expensive media.
For example
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, licensed experimental videos can only be viewed by wealthy
people
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 or scientists
due to
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 their high price resulting in only a few
people
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can learn
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learning
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 about them because of the lack of
money
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.
However
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, if
libraries
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 were able to accommodate learners by having
such
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 technologies, more could study better and utilise them efficiently.
On the other hand
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, having media to surf the internet will provide various types of information which can be very helpful for students or workers who use them to gain more knowledge.
Although
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 some are not cheap, they can be lifetime products that can be used daily so they are highly recommended for
libraries
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 to own them.
For instance
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, some individuals prefer to study from computer-based learning
than
Rephrase
rather than
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books
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 since they can simply search for what they want to read and get the idea with just one click.
Therefore
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,
people
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 will feel more convenient using
libraries
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 which have updated software because they serve information more quickly. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the statement that forces
libraries
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 to only spend their
money
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 on
books
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 since they can help
people
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 look for data or experiments more easily and efficiently. Even though they are expensive, they are worth buying in order to upgrade the quality of
libraries
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 and they can be used in the long term.
Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a roadmap for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to support your main points with specific examples and evidence.
lexical resource
Improve the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary by incorporating more precise and appropriate words.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.
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