Q. Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #violence #crime #cities #world #people #children #video #games

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the contemporary era, a noticeable surge in violence and crime has emerged across major cities worldwide, with teenagers being implicated in a significant number of cases.

According to

Linking Words

some individuals,

this

Linking Words

rise is attributed to the proliferation of violent video games played by

children

Use synonyms

online.

However

Linking Words

, I respectfully disagree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint.

For example

Linking Words

, there are instances where young individuals are encouraged to unlawfully steal cars and drive recklessly through pedestrian areas, showing disregard for bystanders' safety.

Such

Linking Words

actions not only encourage imitation but

also

Linking Words

foster a sense of impunity among young offenders, who justify their actions by comparing them to online games and showing indifference to real-world consequences when caught by law enforcement.

This

Linking Words

trend blurs the lines between reality and the virtual world for

children

Use synonyms

, heavily influenced by the

content

Use synonyms

they encounter on social media and online platforms. Without proper guidance or warnings about the implications of mimicking

such

Linking Words

content

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

are at risk.

Therefore

Linking Words

, implementing stringent

content

Use synonyms

filters is essential to shield

children

Use synonyms

from harmful material and provide comprehensive education on distinguishing right from wrong.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, proactive measures are necessary to educate

children

Use synonyms

about the potential consequences of replicating actions from the virtual realm in the physical world, fostering responsibility and ethical decision-making.

While

Linking Words

violent video games may play a role, addressing

this

Linking Words

issue requires acknowledging the broader influence of inappropriate online challenges and

content

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, combating the escalation of crime and violence among youth necessitates a multifaceted approach. Implementing stringent

content

Use synonyms

filters and providing comprehensive education on ethical conduct are crucial steps to steer

children

Use synonyms

away from criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and cultivate a strong moral compass.

Submitted by lss870311 on Fri Feb 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance your essay on task response, make sure to directly address the prompt throughout your essay. Clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the assertion that violent video games are the cause of increased violence and crime, and ensure that all your arguments and examples directly support your stance.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by closely linking your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay contains logical structure and relevant examples, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can augment the flow of your ideas. Try using more linking phrases that show cause and effect, contrast, or comparison.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
In recent decades, agriculture is faced with a vast development. Nevertheless, there are still numerous individuals who suffer from hunger. In this essay, I will discuss the potential causes of this issue and elaborate some relevant recommendations to address it.
6.5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
It is quite conventional that, with the appearance of modern technologies, the way that most people communicate with each other has drastically changed. This essay agrees that people recently prefer to use the internet to exchange messages with each other than to have a face-to-face conversation due to the fact that some people find it. It also agrees that it poses a negative clout on our society.
5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There have competing opinions on whether the teaching of a child how to behave in society is a duty of parents or school. ALTHOUGH, school gives information on social structure and acceptance, it evidences to be not enough for a child to behave well.I agree that it is the parents who impact on kid’s DEMEANOUR and should become AN epitome of A WELL-behaved and respected person in THE public eye to ensure their child will become the same.
7.5
band
Write at least 150 words. You have seen a job advertised in the newspaper. You want to apply for the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter • provide information about yourself • give details of your previous work experience • Say why the company should consider you for the job You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter to express my interest in the job advertised in the 'Daily Mirror' dated 15th June 2024, inviting applications for the post of sales manager in your esteemed company. I give below my particulars for your perusal and consideration.
4.5
band
The growing numbers of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Their is a huge tention on the health care system to manage the obesity medical problems due to the raising numbers of obese. It is argued some citizens believe that to reduce this apperance we should emphasis on physical education lessons in the school curriculum whereas other do not. In my opinion I do not completely agree with the nation due to several factors.

Q. Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.