Q. Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #violence #crime #cities #world #people #children #video #games

In the contemporary era, a noticeable surge in violence and crime has emerged across major cities worldwide, with teenagers being implicated in a significant number of cases.

According to

some individuals,

this

rise is attributed to the proliferation of violent video games played by

children

online.

However

, I respectfully disagree with

this

viewpoint.

For example

, there are instances where young individuals are encouraged to unlawfully steal cars and drive recklessly through pedestrian areas, showing disregard for bystanders' safety.

Such

actions not only encourage imitation but

also

foster a sense of impunity among young offenders, who justify their actions by comparing them to online games and showing indifference to real-world consequences when caught by law enforcement.

This

trend blurs the lines between reality and the virtual world for

children

, heavily influenced by the

content

they encounter on social media and online platforms. Without proper guidance or warnings about the implications of mimicking

such

content

children

are at risk.

Therefore

, implementing stringent

content

filters is essential to shield

children

from harmful material and provide comprehensive education on distinguishing right from wrong.

Furthermore

, proactive measures are necessary to educate

children

about the potential consequences of replicating actions from the virtual realm in the physical world, fostering responsibility and ethical decision-making.

While

violent video games may play a role, addressing

this

issue requires acknowledging the broader influence of inappropriate online challenges and

content

. In conclusion, combating the escalation of crime and violence among youth necessitates a multifaceted approach. Implementing stringent

content

filters and providing comprehensive education on ethical conduct are crucial steps to steer

children

away from criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and cultivate a strong moral compass.

Submitted by lss870311 on Fri Feb 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance your essay on task response, make sure to directly address the prompt throughout your essay. Clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the assertion that violent video games are the cause of increased violence and crime, and ensure that all your arguments and examples directly support your stance.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by closely linking your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay contains logical structure and relevant examples, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can augment the flow of your ideas. Try using more linking phrases that show cause and effect, contrast, or comparison.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

271 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?
Nowadays, we can see the growth of the number of people, who have several jobs. In this essay, I am going to explain the reasons of this phenomena as well as confider pros and cons of this trend.
4
band
Some people think that success life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
In today's digital era, work hard and ambition are thought to be important in successful life while others believe that finance and appearance are the features that more vital. This author agree with first statement due to it stayble and the ability to grow up in the future.
5
band
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?
In today's era, private-medical facilities are dominating in the healthcare. Some people believe that running this services by privately funded organization could have some demerits, so it should be restricted. However, a great number of people, including myself, are of the opinion that the pros of this private service outweigh the cons. In this essay, I will proffer the justification of my own belief on the matter.
8
band
These days, more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks. What is the cause? What is the solution?
Nowadays, the phenomenon observed in human behaviour to delay tasks until nearly the deadline is said to be worsening. The root cause for this is the notion that motivation is compulsory to complete missions, yet it can be solved by being disciplined with a scientific schedule.
7
band
Some people believe that celebrities have a positive effect on society, while others think that their effect is harmful and negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Undoubtedly, actors , actresses, or football players are getting a lot of earnings. Whilst opponents accept that influencers have detrimental effects on the community, proponents refuse their perspective. I am staunch believer that some famous people have a vital role in the world.

Q. Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Some people think that success life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?

These days, more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks. What is the cause? What is the solution?

Some people believe that celebrities have a positive effect on society, while others think that their effect is harmful and negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.