Q. Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #violence #crime #cities #world #people #children #video #games

In the contemporary era, a noticeable surge in violence and crime has emerged across major cities worldwide, with teenagers being implicated in a significant number of cases.

According to

some individuals,

this

rise is attributed to the proliferation of violent video games played by

children

online.

However

, I respectfully disagree with

this

viewpoint.

For example

, there are instances where young individuals are encouraged to unlawfully steal cars and drive recklessly through pedestrian areas, showing disregard for bystanders' safety.

Such

actions not only encourage imitation but

also

foster a sense of impunity among young offenders, who justify their actions by comparing them to online games and showing indifference to real-world consequences when caught by law enforcement.

This

trend blurs the lines between reality and the virtual world for

children

, heavily influenced by the

content

they encounter on social media and online platforms. Without proper guidance or warnings about the implications of mimicking

such

content

children

are at risk.

Therefore

, implementing stringent

content

filters is essential to shield

children

from harmful material and provide comprehensive education on distinguishing right from wrong.

Furthermore

, proactive measures are necessary to educate

children

about the potential consequences of replicating actions from the virtual realm in the physical world, fostering responsibility and ethical decision-making.

While

violent video games may play a role, addressing

this

issue requires acknowledging the broader influence of inappropriate online challenges and

content

. In conclusion, combating the escalation of crime and violence among youth necessitates a multifaceted approach. Implementing stringent

content

filters and providing comprehensive education on ethical conduct are crucial steps to steer

children

away from criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and cultivate a strong moral compass.

Submitted by lss870311 on Fri Feb 16 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your essay on task response, make sure to directly address the prompt throughout your essay. Clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the assertion that violent video games are the cause of increased violence and crime, and ensure that all your arguments and examples directly support your stance.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by closely linking your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay contains logical structure and relevant examples, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can augment the flow of your ideas. Try using more linking phrases that show cause and effect, contrast, or comparison.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Q. Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it? ALWAYS read the topic clearly and work out exactly what you have to write abou

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Universities and colleges are now offering courses through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing excercise classes. what are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negetive development?