IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
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Some
people
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 live near the
area
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 where they were born for most of their lives. In the bellow essay, I will mention probable causes of
this
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 and elaborate on its merits and demerits of it. There is no doubt that
people
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 like to stay in their comfort zone.
People
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 generally like to live in a place where it has familiar situations,
for example
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, public services are easy to access
as well as
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 facilities.
Consequently
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, on the whole,
people
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 prefer to live in the region where they were born. On the one hand, by staying
people
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 in somewhere that they are originally from, the economy of the
area
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 improves.
For instance
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, Sir James Dyson, one the famous entrepreneurs of the United Kingdom
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 born in the city of Bath, he stayed there and ran a company and
then
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 started manufacturing home equipment. Because of Dyson’s factory, a lot of economic improvements happened in the Bath.
Also
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, many friends and relatives who live in the
area
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 would help and support each other in many matters.
On the other hand
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, in terms of diversity, moving to other places would spread cultures and traditions. Staying
people
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 in their origin
area
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 means remaining in a single culture and they rarely are influenced by other cultures and traditions. From another point of view, life would be repetitive and boring in some ways. Generally speaking,
people
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 like to have a more exciting life by facing the challenge of leaving their birthplace. In conclusion,
while
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people
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 spending most of their life
in
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apply
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where they were born
guarantee
Correct subject-verb agreement
guarantees
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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comfort in their lives, moving to another place would help them to improve their knowledge and be aware of other cultures.
Submitted by omidateur on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt adequately and provides relevant examples. Your ideas are clear and well-supported. Make sure to fully address the prompt and consider the opposing viewpoint for a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates overall coherence and cohesion. However, strive for a more impactful introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your discussion. Also, ensure a smoother transition between ideas to enhance the overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: