Topic: Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is widely acknowledged that technology provides many opportunities in the
education
system.
Due to
the many benefits of online courses, many people believe that traditional schools cannot provide more
information
than
Internet
resources. I totally disagree and staying at home negatively impacts children's
education
.
This
essay aims to explore what kind of benefits have traditional schools about
information
and will provide supporting examples to arrive at a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
,
although
the
internet
holds vast
information
inside, every piece of info cannot be proven by experts.
Moreover
,
this
is a perfect opportunity who have great skills in researching because experts have the ability to find the right instruction.
Therefore
, many parents may not have lecturer skill who shows the right way to collect
information
online. An example case in point is that the lack of qualified parents reduces children's knowledge and they never check whether the data is true or not.
Secondly
,
it is clear that
students find everything on the
Internet
.
However
, the element of
education
is not created by only
information
, but
also
higher social skills enhance children`s learning success.
Thus
, home
education
cannot provide friendship, dynamic learning, playing games and social ability.
Moreover
, children`s lives may
turn
Verb problem
become
show examples
more isolated which obstructs their curiosity. The most familiar example of curiosity is that student never wants to discover the world that they don't know anything about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. From what has been discussed above we may draw the conclusion that we never trust every piece of
information
on the
internet
and traditional
education
is still important that a qualified lecturer can show students how the
information
can
collect
Wrong verb form
be collected
show examples
conveniently. The schools will be more important than we imagine.
Submitted by haturk10 on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some level of coherence and cohesion, but there are instances where the logical structure is unclear. Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner.
task achievement
While your essay addresses the prompt to some extent, it lacks in providing a complete response and relevant specific examples. Ensure that you thoroughly evaluate the prompt and provide specific examples to support your points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational tool
  • structured curriculum
  • self-directed learning
  • socialization process
  • digital divide
  • trained educators
  • self-motivation
  • discipline
  • personalized learning
  • extracurricular activities
  • critical thinking
  • media literacy
  • all-round development
  • real-world preparation
  • online content
  • feasibility
  • tailored resources
  • information overload
  • learning styles
  • reliable sources
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