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Band 2.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
Nowadays more and more people
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 changing their place of
work
 once in a few
years
.
However
, there are still a big number of those, who
work
 for the same organization all their working life. As for me, both options have some particular advantages and disadvantages.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I believe, that it depends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain factors.
Firstly
, let's talk about people who think it is better to
work
 for different organizations. They appear to be more flexible and
opened
Wrong verb form
open
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new experiences, they like to learn and to
challange
Correct your spelling
challenge
 their limits.
As a result
, they can be specialists in
differend
Correct your spelling
different
 spheres and earn more money.
For example
, a worker with a list of different skills and knowledge base.
On the other hand
, a lot of people find it very stressful to change companies to
work
 for. They
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to find their place and goal in the organization in which they are feeling comfortable.
For instance
,
CEO
Correct article usage
the CEO
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 of BMW has recently retired after working for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 for almost 50
years
. Obviously, i
To sum up
, I think that the most important is how you feel and what you decide to choose. You can either
work
 for 10
years
 for one company or change places of
work
 once in 2
years
 - it doesn't matter. What is important - be like fish in the sea and
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 your skills.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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coherence cohesion
Try to finish your thoughts and sentences. The essay ends abruptly without a proper conclusion, which could leave readers confused.
coherence cohesion
Avoid grammatical and spelling errors to enhance clarity and understanding. For example, 'preffer' should be 'prefer', and 'challange' should be 'challenge'. Correct usage of English contributes significantly to the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Integrate more transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay. Connecting phrases like 'Moreover', 'Consequently', or 'In contrast' can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
For the task response, ensure that you fully address both sides of the argument and your opinion with equal clarity and detail. Your opinion should be distinctly stated, ideally in both the introduction and the conclusion, to meet the task achievement criteria more effectively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While the example of the BMW CEO is good, adding more detailed instances or statistics can strengthen your argument and provide a firmer base for your claims.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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