IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. Agree or diasagree?

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Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the most essential factor for gain
happiness
Use synonyms
 is
money
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 others think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 has nothing to do with
happiness
Use synonyms
.I completely believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 and
happiness
Use synonyms
 are different concepts. On one hand of the discussion,there are
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 who believe
money
Use synonyms
 is to play
valuable
Add an article
a valuable
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 role in the
happiness
Use synonyms
 of a person.Surely we can purchase with
money
Use synonyms
 anything in the world.
For instance
Linking Words
:You imagine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 you are wealthy and you have to
surgen
Correct your spelling
surgeon
 from heart
Linking Words
thus
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 you can get
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 heart.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 if one human is poor
then
Linking Words
 he or she will suffer from illness,I mean people think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they may be happy without
money
Use synonyms
 but as you see
money
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 of the discussion,there are people who think that
money
Use synonyms
 has nothing to do with
happiness
Use synonyms
.Certainly,It does not matter how you are rich,there are some things in the world that
money
Use synonyms
 can't get that are very worthy.As an example:we may not get to peace with
money
Use synonyms
 and a genious man once time said that,the cash may not purchase to the time.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
happiness
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 like that.Nobody can say that every well-off men are lucky. In conclude,
happiness
Use synonyms
 is a very inportant emotion and it is required for everyone to be certain in life.
This
Linking Words
 has essay discussed why a person needs a certain amount of
money
Use synonyms
 to be comfortable in life,but why
money
Use synonyms
 does not relate to
happiness
Use synonyms
.After having discussed the pertinent points related to the issue,I feel that only logical conclusion is that
money
Use synonyms
 nothing to do with
happiness
Use synonyms
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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