IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

some people public health is the responsibility of the government. Others think that individual have to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #responsibility #government
These days, the number of individuals who choose to have a vegetarian
lifestyle
 has increased.
This
 is because they care about
animals
’ lives and they want to stay healthy,
nevertheless
, I personally believe that
this
 choice can bring a number of problems to human health.
Firstly
, the main reason why
people
 are not interested in eating dairy products including fish, chicken, and meat is that they care about
animals
’ lives. They believe that
animals
 should live freely and their lives should be respected. If
people
 kill them for their meat, soon, they will be extinct, and in some cases, they will become endangered species.
For example
, in America, there are many animal rights activists who always campaign to protect
animals
, especially
animals
 in factory farms.
Secondly
, many
people
 choose to be vegan because they believe it is a healthy
lifestyle
.
This
 is because fish, chickens, and cows are given hormones to help them grow fast to meet the demand.
As a result
, they are no longer healthy to be eaten. These days, the number of
people
 who suffer from cancer has increased compared to the past.
People
 think that the main reason for
this
 problem is because of the food that they eat.
Therefore
, they choose fruits, vegetables, and beans as their diet.
Finally
, in my opinion, being vegetarian is clearly a negative development.
This
 is because when
people
 choose to eat a plant-based diet, they will not get enough protein for their body. In other to have strong muscles,
people
 need to add some portion of fish, chicken, or meat to their diet. Many
people
 who are vegan have to take an additional vitamin supplement every day in order to stay healthy.
Although
 they can get all the needed vitamins from the supplement, it is not healthy because it is not natural.
Moreover
,
this
 choice of
lifestyle
 is absolutely not suitable for children. In order to grow up well, they need enough protein in their body.
To conclude
, a vegan
lifestyle
 has become popular nowadays among Western
people
,
however
,
this
 is definitely not healthy. If
people
 care about
animals
, they should make sure that all the
animals
 on the farm are free not in the cage.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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