IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, humans have invented many things over the years. Some
people
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 think that the most significant scientific breakthrough is the
Internet
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. I totally agree with
this
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 statement and I will explain my reasons for it in the following paragraphs
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons why I think that the discovery of the
Internet
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 is the most important in the world.
Firstly
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, thanks to advanced technology, workers and students can
be easy
Wrong verb form
easily
show examples
 enhance their knowledge
due to
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 access to unrestricted sources of knowledge.
For example
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, with
internet
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-connected smartphones or laptops, they can easily learn anywhere and anytime, on the bus or at midnight.
As a result
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, they
also
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 improve their productivity.
Secondly
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, with the help of technological devices and applications, it can take several minutes or even seconds to send anything over the medium easily
such
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 as documents and money, which was not possible before the 20th century.
In addition
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, in the past,
people
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 had to write letters as a way of communication with those living far away and it often took several days or even weeks for those letters to reach their receivers
internet
Use synonyms
 has made it much easier for
people
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 to keep in contact with their friends or their loved ones, thanks to social media
such
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 as Facebook, Viber. The
internet
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 is considered
as
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apply
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a way of entertainment because
people
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 can spend most of their free time
such
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 as scrolling through social media, and playing online games.
This
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 can help them relax after a long time at work or school. In conclusion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I think the
Internet
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 is the most human discovery. Because it helps
people
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 make it much easier in many aspects of life
such
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 as learning, entertaining, and communicating.

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task response
Your introduction is clear, but it could be strengthened by providing a more detailed outline of the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a transitional phrase at the beginning of your second paragraph to improve the flow between ideas. This will enhance coherence and make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for any grammatical or punctuation errors, as these can distract the reader. For example, 'the internet' should be consistently capitalized as 'the Internet'.
task response
You presented a clear opinion and supported it with relevant examples, showcasing your understanding of the topic.
task response
Your use of examples, such as the mention of social media and learning platforms, effectively illustrates your points and enhances your argument.
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