IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative development?

#fuels #source #energy #world #countries #alternative #sources #development
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In
this
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 era of advancement of technology looking for alternative
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 has become a hot topic of debate amongst the intellectuals.
Although
Linking Words
 fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 are considered to be the primary source of
energy
Use synonyms
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 states, they are getting replaced by other
sources
Use synonyms
. I consider
this
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development
Use synonyms
 as positive, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will
further
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 justify my opinion. There are multiple advantages associated with the replacement of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 with alternate
sources
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 of
energy
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.
Firstly
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, one of the most important
sources
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 of
energy
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such
Linking Words
 as
wind
Use synonyms
 is more time and money efficient as compared to fossil
fuels
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. The reason
being
Wrong verb form
is
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, it's very cheap to set up turbine machines in a place that has more
wind
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, and it uses the natural
wind
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 to produce electricity.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent article published by Harvard University
,
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apply
show examples
 revealed that the cheapest production of electricity is through the
wind
Use synonyms
 turbines, provided that the natural
wind
Use synonyms
 is present in that particular area.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 mega benefit I believe has the potential to make
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 a positive
development
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, apart from being time and money-efficient, other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 are in abundance,
while
Linking Words
 fossil
fuels
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 are getting extinct. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 throughout
history
Add a comma
,history
show examples
 we have used fossil
fuels
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 to produce electricity
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 these days we are facing shortages in some countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
energy
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sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as nuclear are relatively new and found in many countries, making them more suitable compared to the usage of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 advantage can be labelled as the most significant advantage, giving
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 a positive outlook.
Finally
Linking Words
, using
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
wind
Use synonyms
 and nuclear is environmentally friendly as well. As there is a lot of waste produced by fossil
fuels
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 that damage the environment on a large scale. To recapitulate, even though replacing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 with other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 might have some drawbacks too,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that the benefit it brings in terms of time, money and the environment can make
this
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development
Use synonyms
 an
overall
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 positive one.
Submitted by madiharizwani on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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