IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative development?

#fuels #source #energy #world #countries #alternative #sources #development
In
this
 era of advancement of technology looking for alternative
sources
 of
energy
 has become a hot topic of debate amongst the intellectuals.
Although
 fossil
fuels
 are considered to be the primary source of
energy
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 states, they are getting replaced by other
sources
. I consider
this
development
 as positive, and
this
 essay will
further
 justify my opinion. There are multiple advantages associated with the replacement of fossil
fuels
 with alternate
sources
 of
energy
.
Firstly
, one of the most important
sources
 of
energy
such
 as
wind
 is more time and money efficient as compared to fossil
fuels
. The reason
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
, it's very cheap to set up turbine machines in a place that has more
wind
, and it uses the natural
wind
 to produce electricity.
For example
, a recent article published by Harvard University
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 revealed that the cheapest production of electricity is through the
wind
 turbines, provided that the natural
wind
 is present in that particular area.
Therefore
,
this
 mega benefit I believe has the potential to make
this
development
 a positive
development
.
Secondly
, apart from being time and money-efficient, other
sources
 of
energy
 are in abundance,
while
 fossil
fuels
 are getting extinct. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 throughout
history
Add a comma
,history
show examples
 we have used fossil
fuels
 to produce electricity
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 these days we are facing shortages in some countries.
On the other hand
,
energy
sources
such
 as nuclear are relatively new and found in many countries, making them more suitable compared to the usage of fossil
fuels
.
Hence
,
this
 advantage can be labelled as the most significant advantage, giving
this
development
 a positive outlook.
Finally
, using
energy
sources
such
 as
wind
 and nuclear is environmentally friendly as well. As there is a lot of waste produced by fossil
fuels
 that damage the environment on a large scale. To recapitulate, even though replacing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fossil
fuels
 with other
sources
 of
energy
 might have some drawbacks too,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that the benefit it brings in terms of time, money and the environment can make
this
development
 an
overall
 positive one.
Submitted by madiharizwani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: