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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people use distance-learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Loads of people are studying at their accommodations by using distance-learning programs. On the flip side, it is believed that it is not
able
Correct word choice
possible

There may be an adjective issue here.

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 to claim the gain as much as studying at college or university by a fair portion of people. In my aspect, I strongly disagree with the second idea. First of all, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 day and age, studying through programs by either Zoom or
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet

The word google meet doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 is commonly seen.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, education forms depend on each social incident.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most schools allowed their students to study from their homes during the COVID-19 date and it didn't indicate that the students have low quality.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, abilities were increasing
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of having more time outside the school. Not forgetting to mention that, it ought to be judged that online
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education

It seems that educations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 less benefit since knowledge will increase
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 an individual's consciousness of the classes.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, paying attention to the classes
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 studying online can reap more profit than going to the university but solely talking to friends all the time. For another example, the presence of good friends nearby is vital because people tend to blend in with their environments on many sides
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as lifestyle
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 surroundings obviously have been
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 affecting the learners every period of time.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I opine that effective learning can not be believed by education forms because of the difference in each person's levels of attention,
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, students are not able to reap an excellent score
as
Change preposition
due to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 a dearth of not paying attention and good environments

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas in the essay are logically linked together.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of distance-learning programs and attending college or university, and support your ideas with specific examples and evidence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distance learning
  • online education
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • self-paced study
  • broader range
  • interactive components
  • rigorous
  • community
  • networking opportunities
  • practical skills
  • hands-on experience
  • collaborative learning
  • support
  • supervision
  • educational resources
  • traditional education
  • academic environment
  • personal development
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