IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The government should spend money on promoting sports and art in schools, rather than sponsoring Professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sports #art #schools #events #communities
I fully agree, that spending money on promoting
sports
 and
arts
 in
schools
 has far more reaching benefits than sponsoring professional
sports
 and
art
 events in communities. Money spent in the promotion of
sports
 and
arts
 in
schools
 can fund programs to help identify great
talents
 from an early age. Spending on
schools
 can
also
 fund the construction of world-class
sports
 and
art
facilities
 in
schools
. One of the benefits of promoting
sports
 and
arts
 in
schools
 is that young children who have great
talents
 for certain
sports
 or
art
 forms can be discovered
while
 they are still young. The advantage of
this
 is that great
talents
 can be developed from an early stage.
This
 can be very advantageous for a country in international competitions
such
 as the Olympics. Discovering great
talents
 from an early stage is great, but not enough. There must be adequate funding to provide the necessary
facilities
 and support
that is
 required to harness great
talents
. For ,instances
sports
 like swimming, basketball, and tennis will need substantial funding towards constructing their respective
facilities
.
To conclude
, most
sports
 and
art
 forms greatly benefit more from the government spending money on
sports
 and
arts
schools
, rather than sponsoring professional
sports
 because it improves the training
facilities
 available to young
talents
.
Submitted by kelvinnseth on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: