Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that

animals

Use synonyms

should be not used for human needs

such

Linking Words

as food, medicine, and fashion industrial

experiment

Fix the agreement mistake

experiments

show examples

. I personally disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because using mice or other

animals

Use synonyms

can not be replaced for inventions or experiments to conduct research or another purpose.

On the other hand

Linking Words

animals

Use synonyms

are indeed paramount for human life

as well as

Linking Words

support many aims both in scientific invention and basic human beings' needs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, mice are often used for medical research to find medicine or technique for the surgeon, because it is really less hazardous

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than using a human as an object.

Furthermore

Linking Words

animals

Use synonyms

are far cheaper compared to humans if a scientist would like to acquire medical experiments to cure a rare disease.

That is

Linking Words

why,

animals

Use synonyms

can not be replaced as a function or object to do that thing.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the Covid-19 outbreaks mice

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

used to figure out the effectiveness and safety factors of vaccines prior to being used for humans.

Besides

Linking Words

, snake poison is

also

Linking Words

really needed to find an antidote to save someone's life if they

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

bitten by a poisonous snake.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend is a contentious issue for animal defence organizations to prevent

animals

Use synonyms

as an object for numerous human needs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they doing campaigns and promotions to raise people's awareness of these things, so

animals

Use synonyms

are not being threatened by illegal hunting. If humans are not really aware

to utilize

Change preposition

of utilizing

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

for many purposes it will lead to several negative consequences,

such

Linking Words

as some

animals

Use synonyms

being endangered or even worse extinction.

Therefore

Linking Words

, using

animals

Use synonyms

for many activities should be regulated and monitored

also

Linking Words

by the multi-stakeholder. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

numerous negative possibilities can be raised to

this

Linking Words

trend, I certainly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

animals

Use synonyms

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

be replaced by far. These

animals

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have a significant role in the new invention in medical curing and other purposes

darmasamuelhutajulu

Jun 4, 2023

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Task Response

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear conclusion that reinforces your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing a more organized structure with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and smooth transitions between ideas.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays shops tend to stay open longer hours every day of the week. Is this a positive or negative development?

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. •Describe the vacation spot you have chosen . •Explain how you plan to spend time there. •Invite your friend to join on your vacation

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of changing people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?