Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays many people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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that
animals
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should be not used for human needs
such
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as food, medicine, and fashion industrial
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
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. I personally disagree with
this
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statement because using mice or other
animals
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can not be replaced for inventions or experiments to conduct research or another purpose.
On the other hand
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,
animals
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are indeed paramount for human life
as well as
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support many aims both in scientific invention and basic human beings' needs.
To begin
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with, mice are often used for medical research to find medicine or technique for the surgeon, because it is really less hazardous
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than using a human as an object.
Furthermore
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,
animals
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are far cheaper compared to humans if a scientist would like to acquire medical experiments to cure a rare disease.
That is
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why,
animals
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can not be replaced as a function or object to do that thing.
For instance
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, during the Covid-19 outbreaks mice
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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used to figure out the effectiveness and safety factors of vaccines prior to being used for humans.
Besides
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, snake poison is
also
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really needed to find an antidote to save someone's life if they
got
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get
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bitten by a poisonous snake.
On the other hand
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,
this
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trend is a contentious issue for animal defence organizations to prevent
animals
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as an object for numerous human needs.
Moreover
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, they doing campaigns and promotions to raise people's awareness of these things, so
animals
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are not being threatened by illegal hunting. If humans are not really aware
to utilize
Change preposition
of utilizing
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animals
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for many purposes it will lead to several negative consequences,
such
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as some
animals
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being endangered or even worse extinction.
Therefore
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, using
animals
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for many activities should be regulated and monitored
also
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by the multi-stakeholder. In conclusion,
although
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numerous negative possibilities can be raised to
this
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trend, I certainly disagree with
this
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statement because
animals
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could not
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cannot
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be replaced by far. These
animals
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also
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have a significant role in the new invention in medical curing and other purposes
Submitted by darmasamuelhutajulu on

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear conclusion that reinforces your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a more organized structure with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and smooth transitions between ideas.
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