Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
animals
should be not used for human needs
such
as food, medicine, and fashion industrial
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
. I personally disagree with
this
statement because using mice or other
animals
can not be replaced for inventions or experiments to conduct research or another purpose.
On the other hand
,
animals
are indeed paramount for human life
as well as
support many aims both in scientific invention and basic human beings' needs.
To begin
with, mice are often used for medical research to find medicine or technique for the surgeon, because it is really less hazardous
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than using a human as an object.
Furthermore
,
animals
are far cheaper compared to humans if a scientist would like to acquire medical experiments to cure a rare disease.
That is
why,
animals
can not be replaced as a function or object to do that thing.
For instance
, during the Covid-19 outbreaks mice
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
used to figure out the effectiveness and safety factors of vaccines prior to being used for humans.
Besides
, snake poison is
also
really needed to find an antidote to save someone's life if they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
bitten by a poisonous snake.
On the other hand
,
this
trend is a contentious issue for animal defence organizations to prevent
animals
as an object for numerous human needs.
Moreover
, they doing campaigns and promotions to raise people's awareness of these things, so
animals
are not being threatened by illegal hunting. If humans are not really aware
to utilize
Change preposition
of utilizing
show examples
animals
for many purposes it will lead to several negative consequences,
such
as some
animals
being endangered or even worse extinction.
Therefore
, using
animals
for many activities should be regulated and monitored
also
by the multi-stakeholder. In conclusion,
although
numerous negative possibilities can be raised to
this
trend, I certainly disagree with
this
statement because
animals
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
be replaced by far. These
animals
also
have a significant role in the new invention in medical curing and other purposes
Submitted by darmasamuelhutajulu on

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a clear conclusion that reinforces your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a more organized structure with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and smooth transitions between ideas.

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