IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Nowadays, more and more
people
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 around the world eating too much fast
food
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 and
as a
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result
Add a comma
,result
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 leading to many
health
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problems
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.
However
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, I do not agree that the
government
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 should add more
tax
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 on
such
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food
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. There are several reasons why the
government
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 should not increase
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
tax
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 on fast
food
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.
First,
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people
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 had a right to choose what they like to eat and they should be responsible for their own
health
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,
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apply
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 and should acknowledge what is the adverse effect of overeating fast
food
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.
Second,
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the price of fast
food
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 is relatively cheap than healthy
food
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, the manufacturers will set a higher price and pass on the increase in costs to the customers if the
government
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 impose more
tax
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 on it, and it is not fair to those lower income group of
people
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, limiting their choices of
food
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. I believe that eating too much fast
food
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 is not the only reason
of
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for
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resulting
Correct article usage
the resulting
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health
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problems
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.
People
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 with bad living habits
such
Linking Words
 as smoking and too much alcohol in their daily life will
also
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 have a greater chance
leading
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of leading
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 to
health
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problems
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.
Besides
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, citizens should have a
balance
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balanced
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 diet and do more regular exercises to get away from
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health
Add an article
a health
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 problem.
For example
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,
people
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 should have more vegetables and fruits in
everyday
Correct pronoun usage
their everyday
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 diet and have
a
Remove the article
apply
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control
of
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over
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 eating too much fast
food
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.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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 should do more promotions on healthy
food
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 especially
introduce
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introducing
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 vegetarian
food
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 which is good for
health
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 and organize some
health
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 seminars teaching
people
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 what is the disadvantages of too much fast
food
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. In conclusion, the
government
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impose
Wrong verb form
imposing
show examples
 a higher
tax
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 on fast
food
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 is not the only solution to prevent
people
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suffering
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from suffering
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 from
health
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problems
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, and
Correct article usage
a balance
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balance
Wrong verb form
balanced
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 diet and take exercise are the keys to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 away from it.
Submitted by albedosnow on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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