IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that people should be given the right to use freshwater as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of freshwater. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
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 thought
by
Change preposition
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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that
people
Use synonyms
 should be given the right to freely
use
Use synonyms
 fresh
water
Use synonyms
 as they desire,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that the
government
Use synonyms
 should strictly manage the way citizens
use
Use synonyms
 it. In my perspective, I contend that both sides must have their own responsibilities, regarding the
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 and in
this
Linking Words
 passage, I will give manifold justifications why I side with the latter statement. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fresh
water
Use synonyms
 for daily activities,
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning and cooking is a basic human necessity, thereby
people
Use synonyms
 should be entitled to the freedom of using clean
water
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, provided that the main industry of some nations is based on agriculture, farmers might need fresh
water
Use synonyms
 to create crops, since
water
Use synonyms
 is one of the most vital factors which directly lead to a fertile harvest and
therefore
Linking Words
 contribute to the development of a nation. Ultimately, it is
also
Linking Words
 evident that the
government
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 might
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the responsibility of providing enough
water
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, in order to serve all the needs of its citizens.
On the other hand
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, it is understandable why some supporters believe that having regulations
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 using clean
water
Use synonyms
 by the
government
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also
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 play a significant role down the road. By strictly managing the way
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 clean
water
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, the
government
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 might reduce the waste of
water
Use synonyms
use
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,
subsequently
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 not only helping to protect our environment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 preventing
water
Use synonyms
 shortage in the near future . In fact, when citizens are given the right to utilize clean
water
Use synonyms
 as much as they want, they might have a tendency to take it for granted and
use
Use synonyms
 it in inappropriate ways, which can lead to drought in some particular seasons.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, controlling the flow of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 might help the
government
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 to maintain a permanent supply of
water
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 for all of the pillar industries,
such
Linking Words
 as agriculture and industrial sectors that require fresh
water
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.
Consequently
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, I believe that imposing regulations on the
use
Use synonyms
 of freshwater might address the problem to a manageable level. In conclusion, despite the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 have the right to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom when
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 as
that is
Linking Words
 our basic human
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
, I believe having regulation might be the optimal solution
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it shall help to prevent
water
Use synonyms
 shortage to a manageable level.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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