Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #art #lives #purpose #distraction #life

Nowadays,

art

is a part of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

art

can not be separated from

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

because

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

come

Correct subject-verb agreement

comes

show examples

from

human

Add an article

the human

a human

show examples

mind and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, it

also

represent

Change the verb form

represents

show examples

the identity of a region. Especially in Bali,

art

bali

Change the capitalization

Bali

show examples

has a lot of deep meaning

due to

the tradition here.

Therefore

, as

balinese

Change the capitalization

Balinese

show examples

, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

art

not only has meaning and purpose,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

also

contains a reflection of its region. The first point of

art

is how human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

make a clear difference between

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

. Human could spill their mind into

art

, they talk about their

life

thru

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

art

some

Correct word choice

and some

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artist

Change to a plural noun

artists

show examples

speak up

Change preposition

about

show examples

their masterpiece. Sometimes,

art

has a hidden meaning in it and

that is

the curious things of

art

Therefore

, the meaning of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

art

has a purpose to help to face or avoid their problems

Change preposition

show examples

an aesthetic way Some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people believe that

art

is a distraction

Change preposition

from

show examples

normality.

However

, the major use of

art

is for lifting

Correct article usage

the human’s

show examples

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

spirit. For

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example is a

song

, whenever you feel tired, when you hear a

song

thats

Correct your spelling

that

that's

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

fun to

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

mood, it

would help

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

you to release your

tired

Replace the word

tiredness

show examples

, commonly the

song

you

loved

Wrong verb form

love

show examples

the most.

Similarly

Add a comma

Similarly,

show examples

when you feel sad or angry,

song

Correct article usage

a song

show examples

magically could lift up your soul and avoid your problems for a

while

For

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

summarize,

art

is a thing that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been a part of human history and

identically

Add a missing verb

is identically

show examples

to the region. It

purposed

Add a missing verb

is purposed

show examples

to help

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

speak up and help human to reduce stress and enjoy their

life

Thus

, it is my view that the aesthetic and the

uniq

Correct your spelling

unique

art

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

than just an entertainment object,

furthermore

it helps human

being

Replace the word

beings

show examples

out of struggling

life

Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on Mon Jun 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Development

Develop your main ideas more fully with detailed examples and explanations to further strengthen your argument.

Grammar and Style

Consider varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

Accuracy

Review the use of articles ('a', 'the') and prepositions ('in', 'of') for accuracy.

Structure

Introduce a brief outline of your main points in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.

Engagement and Opinion

Your essay engages with the topic thoughtfully and presents a clear personal viewpoint.

Vocabulary Usage

You have a good use of topic-specific vocabulary that enhances the clarity of your argument.

Structure

There is a logical structure to your essay, with an introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

aesthetic
cathartic
cultural tapestry
expressionism
fleeting
introspection
monetary value
nostalgia
profound impact
socioeconomic
subjective perspective
visceral response

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?
Every sports plays an important role in native citizens life whether if its cricket, football, tennis and many more. People follow sports players as their ideals and follow its life and value life a crazy fan. So, I personally believe that the action of each and every players in sports plays a very crucial role even off the sports ground. This essay will discuss why I disagree with this statement that if the player is very briiliant in its field but its actions off the field plays vital role as well.
5
band
Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better for children than watching TV or playing computer games.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that in order to have a better reading quality, it is better for children to read a story from a book than from TV or computer games.I fully agree with this statement.36 It is clear that reading stories from TV or computer games is an interesting reading method for children because the stories are deduced in a variety of ways. Actors deduce the story by turning a story into a TV series or a movie. Children could also read the stories by playing the computer games, acting as a story character by playing the game and read the story by playing the game. These methods made the reading more interesting and children may more willing to read the story. However, the disadvantages outweighs the advantages. Although reading story from TV or computer games may be more interesting, it is hard for children to focus on the story because other TV programes and other computer games could disturb them.Besides, watching TV or playing computer games on the screen for a long time coul...
7
band
Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.
To begin with, the world of banking is a complex and fascinating field that has long attracted the interest of individuals. At its core, a treasury's primary function is to serve two distinct groups of customers: those who want to save payments and those who want to borrow it. However, a person can belong to both categories. This essay will argue that the interdependence of savers and defaulters is the foundation of the banking system, with each playing a vital role in the financial journey of the other.
4.5
band
People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
People who are simply use other people's ideas or works are less valuable than people who do their works with their capability and create original ideas. Only integrated people who can do this thing. I, personally, could not agree more that people who rely on their ability to do their own tasks or have fresh ideas are really a dedicated person. This essay will shown by analysing my personal experience when made a project as well as my sister when did her assignment at campus.
<4
band
Some people claim that goverments should be responsible for taking care of the essential needs of the elderly, while others argue that it should be the elderly that should do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The importance of which was always debatable Has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former/latter proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive/negative impact and thus, will lead to a logical conclusion

Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better for children than watching TV or playing computer games.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.

People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people claim that goverments should be responsible for taking care of the essential needs of the elderly, while others argue that it should be the elderly that should do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.