IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that famous people can help draw attention to important social issues. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important.

In recent years, whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities can have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 vital social
issues
Use synonyms
 has been in the spotlight of public attention.
While
Linking Words
 there are some
people
Use synonyms
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 can make serious
problems
Use synonyms
 seem less important, I assert that they can provide to draw attention to significant
issues
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the
reasons
Use synonyms
 for my belief will be elaborated. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
import
Replace the word
important
show examples
 social
issues
Use synonyms
 to be known through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 can make negative effects. As for the major reason, if the
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 talk about social
issues
Use synonyms
, the
problems
Use synonyms
 will decrease
reliabilites
Correct your spelling
reliability
reliabilities
 from
people
Use synonyms
 since the celebrities do not have professional
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in South Korea, some
celebrite
Correct your spelling
celebrities
celebrate
celebrity
 told his thinking which is related to policy,
which
Correct word choice
and
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 the information was false since he have not learned about
this
Linking Words
 majority.
As a result
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 suffered from misunderstanding and they tend not to listen
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
issues
Use synonyms
, even though they are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant
problems
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, whether famous
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 can help concentrate on
attetion
Correct your spelling
attention
 to
issues
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 appears to have a number of valid
reasons
Use synonyms
 to consider. In terms of the first aspect to take into account, the
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 have enormous influence. It is a well-known fact that many
people
Use synonyms
 would like to follow them
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 their
acting
Replace the word
actions
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 research, some famous
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 donated to volunteering organizations and reported on
Instgram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 watched it, and they
also
Linking Words
 donated to a number of charities and reported on Instagram since they are big huge fans of the
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 or want to follow them.
As a result
Linking Words
,
donation
Add an article
the donation
a donation
show examples
 was
trend
Add an article
a trend
the trend
show examples
 during short-terms.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 can have a positive effect
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
issues
Use synonyms
 has to be prioritized
due to
Linking Words
 the
reasons
Use synonyms
 stated above. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the two opposing views have their own strong points, I am of the opinion that whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 can allow
to draw
Change the verb form
drawing
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's attention to significant social
problems
Use synonyms
 should be considered more importantly
due to
Linking Words
 the aforementioned
reasons
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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