Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #schools #students #subjets #future #careers #subjects #music #sports

All people are successful in their field.

However

, few asses believe that academic

subjects

are only important in education for getting success in life and that

music

sports

are not beneficial for learners. I disagree with the given statement that scholars should only concentrate on academics rather than

sports

. In

this

essay, I intend to support my opinion with my argument.

That is

not deniable that there are numerous reasons behind the tendency of academic classes.

Firstly

, students who are interested in a field job, so they must push themselves to study to achieve higher scores. It is necessary to get high scores by which they get admission to top colleges so that it will be beneficial for a higher salary after graduation.

However

, not everyone can get a good score in examinations, some are ahead in other

subjects

such

sports

and

music

. To explain it, many people have some god-gifted talents in different things, many of them are interested in

sports

, and others in

music

For example

, in India, Sachin Tendulkar is known as the God of Cricket, he chose a career in cricket

instead

of academics, and now is a brand ambassador of a BMW Company.

Moreover

music

also

helps to relax your mind. Only academic

subjects

lead to failure or the students leave school too early because they are depressed without entertainment.

In addition

this

sports

also

help in their physical fitness and

music

has proved to help improve the IQ of children. Schools should make rounded education

such

as make mixed curriculum from which they feel a good atmosphere in the class. In conclusion,

although

academic classes are beneficial for children,

subjects

sports

and

music

are as important for a bright future.

Submitted by arshpreetmalkana on Mon Jun 05 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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