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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.
#demand #electricity #england #winter #summer #english #house
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The given line graph illustrates the typical daily demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 and
summer
Use synonyms
, and the pie chart represents the proportion of different
electricity
Use synonyms
 usage in an English home.
Overall
Linking Words
, the requirement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
much
Add a missing verb
is much
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher in
winter
Use synonyms
 than in
summer
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
show examples
 used for heating purposes. The demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 is higher than in
summer
Use synonyms
 by far, and the peak hour for
winter
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 is 9 p.m.
Electricity
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 traffic experiences fluctuation during all times in
summer
Use synonyms
 at around 15000 units of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
summer
Use synonyms
. In
winter
Use synonyms
,
electricity
Use synonyms
 demand hits the bottom at just over 30000 units between 6 and 9 a.m.,
then
Linking Words
 increase to 40000 units at 12 a.m. An average English house's
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used for heating aims, the main kitchen machines, communication devices, and small electronic goods
such
Linking Words
 as vacuum cleaners or food mixers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more than half of the total
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used for heating rooms and water. The major industrial kitchen machines; ovens, kettles, and washing machines are the second biggest
electricity
Use synonyms
 usage in an English home. The other fields only represent 30% of the total expenses.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, winter, summer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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