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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The graph below illustrates the
number
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 of
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Catholics
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Catholic
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people
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 who lived in six Asian countries from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
number
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 of
Catholics
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 lived in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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,
while
Linking Words
 Japan experienced the lowest
number
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 of believers. In terms of Phillippines, it was the most popular place
around
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among
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Catholics
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, with 75,940.000
people
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 in 2010 and 72,000.000 in 2013. India was next on the list at 10,570.000 in 2010 and 19,000.000 in 2013, making it slightly more popular
around
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among
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 believers than China,
9,000.000
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with 9,000.000
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 in 2010 and 15,000.000 in 2013. With regards to the remaining countries, Vietnam came
next,
Linking Words
where the
number
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 of
Catholics
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 accounted for 5,590.000 in 2010 and 5,321.168 in 2013. The
number
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 of believers in Korea decreased throughout the period from 5,270.000 to 1,319.000.
Finally
Linking Words
, the least popular area for
Catholics
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 was Japan, with 400,000
people
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 in 2010 and 509,000
people
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 in 2013.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, catholics, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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