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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the numbers of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.

#sports #numbers #athletes #substances #performance #phenomenon
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In the international games, it is becoming common to prohibit the use of athletes to boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 performance. Competition and
lack
Use synonyms
 of medical tests can be accountable for
this
Linking Words
 situation. These reasons will be illustrated in the impending paragraphs
along with
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 their solutions.
To begin
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 with, the main cause is excessive competition between
teams
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. The reason for
this
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that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 practitioners want to make a name
between
Change preposition
among
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 other players as they might consume energetic
bevrages
Correct your spelling
beverages
beverage
 to feel fresh and active.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, the second cause is
Use synonyms
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of strictness about medical tests in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
sports
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.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 many rich individuals spend a lot of money on their
teams
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as well as
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 they might
also
Linking Words
 bribe the
sports
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 clubs to provide the
drugs
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 to their
teams
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.
For instance
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, a study published in “ Hindustan Times” revealed that “John Toto” was
most
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the most
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 popular cricket player in his previous time. He
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
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 accepted how he cheat
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 his team
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and ate energetic
drugs
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 before starting the events. Because of the
lack
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 of strictness in
the
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apply
show examples
international
sports
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 about medical tests.
To solve
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Solve
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 it, there are numerous steps
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 to be taken
for
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in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation. First and foremost, governments should spread awareness among all practitioners regarding the harmful effects of eating
drugs
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. As they can escape from dangerous
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 issues if they do not use
the
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apply
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toxic substances to get success in their
teams
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, authorities ought to hire
the
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a
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 supervisor to supervise the
teams
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. As they will
afraid
Add a missing verb
be afraid
show examples
 to use the athletes in the
sports
Use synonyms
 events. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that competitive behaviour and
lack
Use synonyms
 of strictness are the roots of using
drugs
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
sports
Use synonyms
. As lawmakers need to spread awareness and hire
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supervisors to supervise the
teams
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amanjotkaur532 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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