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Band 5.5

The gap between the rich and the poor is wider, the rich are getting richer, the poor even more poor, what problems can the situation cause and suggest solutions

#gap #situation
In
this
 modern era, the difference between rich and poor individuals is increasing at
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 alarming
rate
due to
inequal
Correct article usage
the inequal
show examples
 distribution of wealth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 crime
rate
 and
unequal
Correct article usage
an unequal
show examples
education
 system
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society;
moreover
, these problems can be solved by providing job opportunities and good
education
.
To Begin
 with, there are several issues caused by an increase in
gap
Add an article
the gap
show examples
 between
poverty stricken
Add a hyphen
poverty-stricken
show examples
 and wealthy individuals. First and foremost,
education
 has become inaccessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
needy
Correct article usage
the needy
show examples
 masses.
This
 is because schooling is a first right for human beings. But the expenses of teaching
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 too much high as they cannot afford to give good
education
.
Moreover
, the crime
rate
 is
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 day by day. The fact behind
this
 is that the
jobs
 might require
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 educated masses, as they are unable to get
jobs
. So, they can start to do illegal
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to complete their basic requirements
such
 as clothes, food and shelter. To solve it, there are many steps
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 to be taken for
this
 solution. First of all,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide free
education
 for needy people. The reason for
this
 is that if they have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good schooling, they might be able to complete their basic needs with the help of
theit
Correct your spelling
their
 talent and knowledge.
Secondly
, authorities ought to give job opportunities to their citizens. Its reason is that if necessities have good
jobs
, they will able to earn money for completing their ambitions. They cannot choose the wrong way to earn money.
For instance
, Canadian
law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
show examples
 make a rule for their citizens to provide free
education
.
Therefore
, residents can not only have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
education
 but
also
 have good
jobs
. As the gap between the rich and the poor is too low rather than other countries. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 crime
rate
 and unequal
education
 system are the
amin
Correct your spelling
main
 problems as lawmakers need to provide free
education
as well as
jobs
.
Submitted by amanjotkaur532 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • crime rates
  • wealth inequality
  • social segregation
  • education gap
  • affluent
  • mortality rates
  • uneven access
  • hopelessness
  • disenfranchisement
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute
  • quality education
  • social programs
  • economic disadvantage
  • higher wages
  • entrepreneurship
What to do next:
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