The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
The pie chart illustrates the country of born of
people
in
Australia
and the table depicts that where
people
live in a rural
area
or
cities
area
depends on the
birth
of these countries.
Overall
,
Australia
is the highest leading country. At the same time, the Netherlands is the least country with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
living
, and
Change preposition
in, and
show examples
on the other hand
, the majority of
people
preferred to live in
cities
area
than in rural
areas
.
To begin
with,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
with just 1% of
people
's
birth
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which 90% of
people
resides in
Cities
and only 10%
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in rural
areas
.
while
, China which is accounted for 2% of the
birth
people
in that 99% of the
people
liked to live in an urban
area
, and just 1%
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
in rural
areas
. In New Zealand, 80% of
people
live in urban
areas
, which is the lowest compared to other countries,
while
20% of
people
live in village
areas
, the highest number of
people
living with respect to other countries. In
Australia
, 73% of
births
Fix the agreement mistake
birth
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
living in
Australia
in which 83% live in
Cities
while
17% live in rural
areas
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 81%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, area, cities, birth, areas with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: