IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
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The pie chart illustrates the country of born of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and the table depicts that where
people
Use synonyms
 live in a rural
area
Use synonyms
 or
cities
Use synonyms
area
Use synonyms
 depends on the
birth
Use synonyms
 of these countries.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 is the highest leading country. At the same time, the Netherlands is the least country with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 living
, and
Change preposition
in, and
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to live in
cities
Use synonyms
area
Use synonyms
 than in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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 with just 1% of
people
Use synonyms
's
birth
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which 90% of
people
Use synonyms
 resides in
Cities
Use synonyms
 and only 10%
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
, China which is accounted for 2% of the
birth
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in that 99% of the
people
Use synonyms
 liked to live in an urban
area
Use synonyms
, and just 1%
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
. In New Zealand, 80% of
people
Use synonyms
 live in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, which is the lowest compared to other countries,
while
Linking Words
 20% of
people
Use synonyms
 live in village
areas
Use synonyms
, the highest number of
people
Use synonyms
 living with respect to other countries. In
Australia
Use synonyms
, 73% of
births
Fix the agreement mistake
birth
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 living in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in which 83% live in
Cities
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 17% live in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 81%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, area, cities, birth, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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