IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern lifestyle are completely different from the way of people lived in the past. Some people think changes have been positive, while other believe they have been negative. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#lifestyle #people #changes
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No doubt , Nowadays the living
style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 of people
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 totally changed from the past few decades
however
 on one side people claim
that is
 fruitful for individuals
whereas
 opponents are it against.In
this
 ,essay I will briefly explain the merits and demerits of
this
 statement and I stand with the first viewpoint that I will clear in upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost ,these days everything is based on technology and it
is make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
work
 not only easy to complete but
only
Rephrase
also
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 convenient to use.Needless to say ,
this
 public becomes multitasking and finish their 2 to 3 task together within a few minutes spend some
time
 with their family member in the past days full days
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 not enough to do household activities and in the current era just 2 to 3 hours full house chop is done .
Additionally
 , businessmen used numerous gargets to complete their
work
 fast as they can print a number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
page
Fix the agreement mistake
pages
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 with the help of a printer
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 by hand ,
this
 is because it consumes energy and
time
 .Adding more , masses can easily cover short and long distances in a few seconds by their personal vehicles . On the other side , opponents are angry with the new world as they feel that it increases the problem for both
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and individual health.
Firstly
, at
this
time
 people feel lazy and inactive because they do less hard
work
 as compared to past
time
 as they complete their
work
 by machines .
Moreover
 , they
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 a number of health problems where obesity is common among them and so on. These issues are rising
due to
 unhealthy food and less exercise as they are busy with their
work
 and avoid cooking food at home and prefer to eat outside oily and junk food .
Apart from
this
 , if mammal
work
 is reduced
then
 unemployment is
also
 growing in the country and they feel comfortable and affordable with devices. In conclusion ,
although
 machines
work
 causes problems and harms the environment
nonetheless
Rephrase
apply
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the benefits are more than bad effects as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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completes
Correct subject-verb agreement
complete
show examples
work
 faster than man and need less
time
 and energy
whereas
 man takes a lot of
time
 .
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address both parts of the prompt, discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarize the key points of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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