IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern lifestyle are completely different from the way of people lived in the past. Some people think changes have been positive, while other believe they have been negative. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#lifestyle #people #changes
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No doubt , Nowadays the living
style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 of people
is
Verb problem
has
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 totally changed from the past few decades
however
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 on one side people claim
that is
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 fruitful for individuals
whereas
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 opponents are it against.In
this
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 ,essay I will briefly explain the merits and demerits of
this
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 statement and I stand with the first viewpoint that I will clear in upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost ,these days everything is based on technology and it
is make
Wrong verb form
makes
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work
Use synonyms
 not only easy to complete but
only
Rephrase
also
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 convenient to use.Needless to say ,
this
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 public becomes multitasking and finish their 2 to 3 task together within a few minutes spend some
time
Use synonyms
 with their family member in the past days full days
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 not enough to do household activities and in the current era just 2 to 3 hours full house chop is done .
Additionally
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 , businessmen used numerous gargets to complete their
work
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 fast as they can print a number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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page
Fix the agreement mistake
pages
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 with the help of a printer
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 by hand ,
this
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 is because it consumes energy and
time
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 .Adding more , masses can easily cover short and long distances in a few seconds by their personal vehicles . On the other side , opponents are angry with the new world as they feel that it increases the problem for both
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and individual health.
Firstly
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, at
this
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time
Use synonyms
 people feel lazy and inactive because they do less hard
work
Use synonyms
 as compared to past
time
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 as they complete their
work
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 by machines .
Moreover
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 , they
faced
Wrong verb form
face
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 a number of health problems where obesity is common among them and so on. These issues are rising
due to
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 unhealthy food and less exercise as they are busy with their
work
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 and avoid cooking food at home and prefer to eat outside oily and junk food .
Apart from
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this
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 , if mammal
work
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 is reduced
then
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 unemployment is
also
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 growing in the country and they feel comfortable and affordable with devices. In conclusion ,
although
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 machines
work
Use synonyms
 causes problems and harms the environment
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nonetheless
Rephrase
apply
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the benefits are more than bad effects as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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completes
Correct subject-verb agreement
complete
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work
Use synonyms
 faster than man and need less
time
Use synonyms
 and energy
whereas
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 man takes a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address both parts of the prompt, discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarize the key points of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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