IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, socio, and Commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #socio #perspectives #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, children are getting more stress because of academic, social, and commercial perspectives. In my opinion,
that is
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
 the social system and structure of our modern life. To start , we have to know that in the era of capitalism personal feelings are in second place. And the reason for the amount of stress that our children are facing is that their thoughts are not considered a major priority. To illustrate, we are giving tonnes of homework despite
student`s
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 hobbies, interests, and wants. He has to study what the teacher tells him to study, and his abilities and talents are below his marks.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the child gets stressed too much. Another popular reason for pressure is social expectations. Our minds are not adjusted to the circumstances that we have now.
However
Linking Words
, society expects too much from their kids. That leads to the child`s unsatisfactory stress and feeling of disability to meet parents wants. Either way, money and cash are more important for our community than a child`s psychological state. In ,conclusion we are living in a very hard time, and it is not easy to live a life without pressures.
Submitted by muharodnoy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: