IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart desplays the percentage of people using internet, and the pie chart shows the avarage of spending on shooping on the internet in different countries

The chart desplays the percentage of people using internet, and the pie chart shows the avarage of spending on shooping on the internet in different countries
#desplays #percentage #people #internet #avarage #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Bar chart depicts the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 utilizing the
Internet
Use synonyms
 in five different countries (
Sweden
Use synonyms
, the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Germany
Use synonyms
,
France
Use synonyms
, and
Spain
Use synonyms
), and the Pie chart displays the rate of money allocated by
people
Use synonyms
 to shop online in several countries in Europe (
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
UK
Use synonyms
,
Germany
Use synonyms
,
France
Use synonyms
, and
Spain
Use synonyms
). In general, the huge
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 using the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is in
Sweden
Use synonyms
, followed by
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
, and the least are
France
Use synonyms
 and
Spain
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Spain
Use synonyms
 was the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in terms of
people
Use synonyms
 using the
Internet
Use synonyms
 for online shopping. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Use synonyms
 users in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 is the highest, accounting for 35 %, followed by the
UK
Use synonyms
 (20 %) and
Germany
Use synonyms
 (15 %) respectively.
While
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 only contributes 10 % and the least is
Spain
Use synonyms
 which is donate just 5%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a huge amount of money spent on online shopping in the
UK
Use synonyms
 accounting for 87,
while
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 donate (76) and
France
Use synonyms
 (57) respectively, but
Germany
Use synonyms
 only give 46 and the least is
Spain
Use synonyms
 just contribute 10 for the total.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, internet, sweden, uk, germany, france, spain with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Internet usage
  • Online shopping
  • Spending
  • Average
  • Comparison
  • Trends
  • Correlation
  • Insights
  • Countries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: