It has been suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a tv, and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages.

It is irrefutable that more and more
people
are running after materialistic things like cars, television and refrigerators.
While
there are a few benefits of
this
materialism, I believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
are much more. Admittedly, discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the car that made our way of
living
Add the particle
toliving
show examples
smother and faster in terms of transportation
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
.
For instance
, we can enjoy our ride with
comfortability
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
no matter how far the destination is.
Thus
, having a car ultimately
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
facilities for
people
and drive within
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
show examples
zone.
In addition
,
this
one can easily
accessible
Add a missing verb
be accessible
show examples
to go out anywhere, anytime they want and
also
it is helpful in emergency
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. To illustrate, if someone
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
critical condition and it can be
breathtaking
Correct article usage
a breathtaking
show examples
condition here, it can be a
life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
show examples
tool.
Furthermore
, the television used purpose of entertaining and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time with family.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
TV does telecast the
news
channel
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gives the latest
news
. It gives general knowledge and
scientists
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
news
in the
news
channel.
People
prefer
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
entertainment and to escape bored. In recent time, television technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
advance
Change the verb form
advanced
show examples
. There have
provide
Change the verb form
provided
show examples
more features
such
as new feature are include playing video and provide internet
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
which are more influence
people
.
In addition
,
refrigerator
Add an article
the refrigerator
a refrigerator
show examples
is more useful for
assists
Wrong verb form
assisting
show examples
in preserving foods and various household groceries. The main purpose and benefits
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
show examples
of eatery products and various fluids. In conclusion, there is no doubt that the increasing demand for materialistic things has more advantages than disadvantages.
Submitted by kaurj8901 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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