Drug abuse is an increasing problem in modern times. Discuss some reasons behind this and suggest ways it can be hindered.

It is clear that
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growing
drug
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overuse is a social issue these days. Even though
this
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is a serious problem, it can be resolved by regulating
drugs
Use synonyms
more strongly and showing the detrimental results of
drug
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abuse.
To begin
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with, the main reason for
drug
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abuse is that the media describes
drugs
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as something fancy and glamorous, which fosters individuals' curiosity.
Also
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, it is one of the reasons that people can easily obtain
drugs
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nowadays.
For instance
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, as a number of celebrities misuse
drugs
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, the public’s need for
drugs
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has increased.
Furthermore
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, individuals can buy
drugs
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without difficulty.
For example
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, in Korea, anyone can have
drugs
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in their hand in only one hour once they send money to dealers and let them know their addresses through Korean social media platforms,
not to mention
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Kakao Talk.
However
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, there are some solutions to
this
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issue. Tightening regulations with regard to
drugs
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can reduce ill
use
Use the right word
misuse
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For example
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, in some countries,
drugs
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are totally prohibited because of their historical incidents. If
drug
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addicts get arrested by
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
, they will be punished with death.
Therefore
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, citizens are reluctant to attempt to do
drugs
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since they are fully aware of the outcome of
drug
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use.
In addition
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, letting people know the adverse effects of
drug
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abuse is likely to mitigate
such
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overuse.
For instance
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, in my country, the government is doing its best to encourage youngsters not to take
drugs
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abusively by showing documentaries about
drug
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addicts. In conclusion, it is evident that
ill
Correct article usage
the ill
show examples
use of
drugs
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is a concerning problem in today’s society.
Nevertheless
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, strong regulations and awareness of side effects can resolve the issue.

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improvement
Keep to one main idea per paragraph and show how each idea helps the answer. Use clear links between ideas.
improvement
Check facts before you write. Some claims are not true or fair, such as the death penalty for drug use in many places.
strength
The essay shows a clear start and end, and it uses signs to guide the reader.
strength
It gives rules or steps to help fix the problem and uses examples.

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