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Band 6

The world's resources are being consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the dangers of this situation? What should we do?

#world #resources #rate #dangers #situation
It is evident that the increasing overexploitation of natural
resources
 over the years has led to several consequences.
This
 essay is to shed light on the downsides before proposing feasible solutions to address the issue. There are two major problems that arise from
this
 concerning trend. The first main issue could be the depletion of
energy
resources
.
This
 might cause the diminishment of materials and
energy
 needed for manufacturing,
hence
 jobs might be decreased to the minimum [a lot of your language use is quite unnatural and not very concise. No native speaker would say “be decreased to the minimum”
instead
 they would say “
hence
 employment might be impacted” or “
hence
 unemployment might increase”].
Therefore
, individuals might suffer from unemployment and have difficulties making ends meet. Another negative result could be the environmental problems caused by the improper disposal of industrial waste.
This
 could lead to water and soil contamination, which in turn threaten the wellness of both humans and animals in the affected area. To combat the worrying issues, governments could implement several viable steps.
Initially
 , it is crucial to establish regulations on limiting
Correct article usage
the usages
show examples
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
 of
resources
. To be more precise, these regulations could include laws to prohibit exploitation in several specific areas or time
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
, recycling and applying environmental protection measures during extraction.
As well as
this
, developing alternative sustainable
resources
 could be another considerable solution. More specifically, authorities could incentivize companies by providing financial investment or award programs to encourage research and development of renewable
energy
.
This
 could include exploring and harnessing solar power, wind power and hydroelectricity to name a few. In conclusion,
while
 the downsides of overconsuming could lead to resource depletion and environmental issues, governments could take the main role in solving the mentioned dangers by enacting laws to limit exploitation and encouraging sustainable
energy
 alternatives.
Submitted by lequan2212 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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