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Band 5.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
Some people think that social
media
 platforms
such
 as Facebook or Twitter can harm young
adults
 and their ability to form relationships,
while
 others say that these sites can help them build connections and improve their ability to build new relationships. I believe that social
media
 applications can cause more harm than providing benefit,especially to teenagers. Social
media
 platforms enable young
adults
 to build connections, find new friends and easily connect with people throughout the world.
This
 is important as it enables teenagers to improve their communication skills, build connections, expressing their likes and dislikes.
For instance
, I am an example of
this
 myself. Through Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, I can create friendships easily, express my opinions, and improve my social networking skills.
On the other hand
, these sites can cause harm to young
adults
 as they often compare themselves to their peers.
This
 can lead to them being distressed, which can cause depression or other mental health problems.
For instance
, a friend of mine constantly compares herself to her online friends.
As a result
, she is suffering from eating disorders, anxiety and depression. In conclusion,
while
 social
media
 sites enable teenagers to form
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
personal relationships, mental health problems arose
due to
 constant comparison among their peers experienced by many young
adults
 is more harmful.
Submitted by cspheaa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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