There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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Nowadays,

children

Use synonyms

feel a lot of tension from their parents in order to achieve big academical success.

This

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is why there are certain types of people, which believe that non-academic subjects are not supposed to be learned in school. I strongly disagree with

this

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statement. In my opinion, things like sports (football, volleyball, basketball and others)

along with

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different additional subjects like cookery, music, painting and handicrafts are as important as academic ones. First of all, every child needs a place and time for relaxation, increasing creativity and raising potential. Receiving

this

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kind of abstract thinking and developing all different types of qualities will give all those

children

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a much happier atmosphere in school and will dramatically decrease the pressure they are feeling.

Additionally

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, there wouldn't be all those famous chefs, painters, and musicians in the world if they hadn't got the chance to be involved in that kind of activity in their school life.

On the other hand

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, those non-academic sides of education are developing other parts of the brain that conventional subjects can't reach with their dry material and lack of imagination.

However

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, there is no doubt that disciplines like math, biology, chemistry, history and others are very important for the mind and cultural evolution of young people. But are those educational achievements, which parents crave , more important than

children

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's emotional health and happiness? I believe not. There are lots of examples of adults that are more than unable to deal with stress and pressure in their everyday life and one of the main reasons is that feeling inside them of letting people's expectations down. In conclusion, I think

that is

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very important for adults to trust their

children

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and the decisions they are making. Yes, success is very important, but it's not necessary to be linked with academic status.

Submitted by delulcheva on Wed Jun 07 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Some people say that museum should be free where as others opine that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

you are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. What the event is. Why the event is being held? What arrangements have already been made? How your friend can help?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

In some coutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?