IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high level of sugar some think that these taxes are a good idea while other disagree. Discuss both you and give your opinion?

#government #countries #taxes #food #beverages #level #sugar #think #idea
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Special taxes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been imposed on
food
Use synonyms
 items with
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 concentration of
sugar
Use synonyms
 by the government in most parts of the world lately. Some
people
Use synonyms
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that introducing more charges on
such
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 is a better way to deal with emerging problems of
health
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as obesity,
whereas
Linking Words
 others contradict
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain both views in detail
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
 my opinion. Those who are in favour of high duty on sugary goods,
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
show examples
 that sucrose has devastating effects on
health
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. Drinking or eating
such
Linking Words
 products can make
people
Use synonyms
 more obese and could result in serious diseases
such
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 as
diabieties
Correct your spelling
diabetes
.
Moreover
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, sugary drinks are
addictice
Correct your spelling
addictive
. Once
people
Use synonyms
 get used to it , it becomes hard for them to say to
such
Linking Words
 products. Imposing higher charges on sucrose
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 could be a better way as
people
Use synonyms
 will think twice before buying. Others, who oppose
tax
Add an article
a tax
the tax
show examples
 on
food
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,
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that there are other ways to deal with the problem,
self-awareness
Correct word choice
and self-awareness
show examples
 is one of them.
Instead
Linking Words
 of charging more, the government should spend money on awareness campaigns to educate
people
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 about
deteriorating
Correct article usage
the deteriorating
show examples
 effects of eating
sweet
Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
show examples
 on
health
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 and should promote alternate sources of
sugar
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such
Linking Words
 as
splenda
Change the capitalization
Splenda
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. As more and more
people
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 will be aware of
significance
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the significance
show examples
 of having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life, the consumption of
Use synonyms
sugar concentrated
Add a hyphen
sugar-concentrated
show examples
 products is more likely to decrease. I
also
Linking Words
, agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view.
To conclude
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, putting more taxes on
food
Use synonyms
 items with higher
concentration
Fix the agreement mistake
concentrations
show examples
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 could be a solution but there are other better ways to halt the consumption of
sugar
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such
Linking Words
 as by shedding light on
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
health
Use synonyms
 by running campaigns or other sources.
Submitted by pjashan7481 on

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