IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high level of sugar some think that these taxes are a good idea while other disagree. Discuss both you and give your opinion?

#government #countries #taxes #food #beverages #level #sugar #think #idea
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Special taxes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been imposed on
food
 items with
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 concentration of
sugar
 by the government in most parts of the world lately. Some
people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that introducing more charges on
such
food
 is a better way to deal with emerging problems of
health
such
 as obesity,
whereas
 others contradict
this
.
This
 essay will explain both views in detail
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
 my opinion. Those who are in favour of high duty on sugary goods,
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
show examples
 that sucrose has devastating effects on
health
. Drinking or eating
such
 products can make
people
 more obese and could result in serious diseases
such
 as
diabieties
Correct your spelling
diabetes
.
Moreover
, sugary drinks are
addictice
Correct your spelling
addictive
. Once
people
 get used to it , it becomes hard for them to say to
such
 products. Imposing higher charges on sucrose
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 could be a better way as
people
 will think twice before buying. Others, who oppose
tax
Add an article
a tax
the tax
show examples
 on
food
,
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that there are other ways to deal with the problem,
self-awareness
Correct word choice
and self-awareness
show examples
 is one of them.
Instead
 of charging more, the government should spend money on awareness campaigns to educate
people
 about
deteriorating
Correct article usage
the deteriorating
show examples
 effects of eating
sweet
Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
show examples
 on
health
 and should promote alternate sources of
sugar
such
 as
splenda
Change the capitalization
Splenda
show examples
. As more and more
people
 will be aware of
significance
Add an article
the significance
show examples
 of having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life, the consumption of
sugar concentrated
Add a hyphen
sugar-concentrated
show examples
 products is more likely to decrease. I
also
, agree with
this
 point of view.
To conclude
, putting more taxes on
food
 items with higher
concentration
Fix the agreement mistake
concentrations
show examples
 of
sugar
 could be a solution but there are other better ways to halt the consumption of
sugar
such
 as by shedding light on
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
health
 by running campaigns or other sources.
Submitted by pjashan7481 on

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