Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal questions such as their hobbies and interest, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

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It is argued about asking the personal information
such
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as leisure time activities, amateur interests and the marital status of employees during their employment applications.Some individuals admire it as appropriate and convenient, still, others find it useless.In my opinion , It is a better concept to get knowledge about the desires and tastes of every worker to provide them with a friendly working atmosphere rather than imposing them to the restrict beyond the strict rules of the organization. To commence with, the relative environment of working space is considered important where every employee can feel similar to their own house .
Additionally
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, several companies provide various incentives to their workers as per their families.
For example
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, In Canada, a 13-week maternity leave benefit is given to married employees to take care of their newborn babies.
Hence
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, these types of advantages can be provided if the employer has the worker's personal family-related report. No worthless, sometimes the contemporary platforms of employment can eliminate the confidence in sharing the confidential material of a worker which can ruin their privacy.People can get into trouble for uploading their private data who may search and submit job applications online .To illustrate, Cybercrime is the most significant reason behind the disagreement in providing personal info as their past time tasks, and family relationships. In conclusion, providing personal information to your employer can impact your privacy at the time you are only applying for employment , but, sometimes sharing can be the reason for caring and workers can get outstanding benefits only if their managers have knowledge about their likings and backgrounds.

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task response
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main arguments you will discuss. This will help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This can enhance the readability and engagement of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the points in your thesis statement. This will improve the logical flow of your ideas.
task response
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion and shows a good understanding of the topic.
task response
Your use of examples, such as the maternity leave in Canada, adds depth to your argument and makes your points more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prospective employee
  • company culture
  • job performance
  • marital status
  • professional abilities
  • intrusive questions
  • biased hiring process
  • personal characteristics
  • unique professional skills
  • right to privacy
  • power imbalance
  • qualifications
  • compatibility
  • professional achievements
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