Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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There are certain individuals who say that children's
experiences
before school are more likely to have the biggest effect on their
future
life
whereas
other
people
argue that
experiences
gained in teenage
years
will have a greater impact on them and I totally agree with that. I believe that
things
that
people
experience
in their teenage
years
are more important because it is a time when young adults are trying to find themselves and explore new
things
. On the one hand, the
experiences
at young ages are very crucial
due to
the fact that it is a time when little ones are learning a lot of
things
that they will need in the
future
and getting general knowledge about the world.
Moreover
, it will be their first
years
at school where they have to learn how to interact with different
people
and it
also
will be their first little responsibilities. Children are going to make their first steps into society
that is
why the
experience
gained in childhood is so valuable.
On the other hand
, I agree with
people
who say that the
things
that teenagers will get to
experience
have a bigger influence on
people
. It is very essential for their
future
because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
at
this
age are just starting to learn new
things
about themselves and beginning to think about their
future
careers. In these
years
people
are really concerned about their
future
path and in order to get to know themselves better they try new hobbies so they will figure out what they want to do with their lives.
In addition
, they have to make their own decisions and take responsibility for so many
things
.
To conclude
,
although
childhood
experiences
also
have a great effect on the
future
,I believe that
things
that teenagers get to
experience
have more influence on the person
due to
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of new
things
they have to learn to be able to make decisions for their
future
.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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