New technologies and ways of buying and selling a transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Technologies change our
lives
completely these improvements
also
change buying and selling industries.
Consequently
, these developments changed consumer's
lives
.
People
have different views on
this
problem. Some of them think it has good benefits in our
lives
, but some of them think in
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
way. I adamantly agree that
this
development has good benefits to our
lives
. On the one hand,
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
show examples
can access the products much more easily by buying them online.
For instance
,
people
can access the product with just a click.
Moreover
, saves a lot of time. To demonstrate,
instead
of going to the shop to buy something
people
prefer to buy it online.
Additionally
,
people
can sell products from online shops. To illustrate, if someone is thinking of selling clothes that they don't wear anymore they can sell them through the Internet.
On the other hand
,
people
can be disappointed
from
Change the preposition
in
with
by
about
show examples
buying something from online shops
due to
sellers uploading the wrong images on the website.
Moreover
, some fake sellers trying to trick consumers, and they are trying to get more money from them. To prevent
this
from happening websites should detect sellers and they need to be sure that they give all the information about the product. In view of selling products wrongly, some
people
don’t think to buy something from online shops. In conclusion, some
people
think that buying from real stores is much safer, but some
people
say online shopping is much easier.
Although
, my view is that online shopping will improve, and it will be a better choice for consumers.
Submitted by mcqueensever on

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task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your arguments, especially in the "On the other hand" paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links to the essay's main argument and contributes to your position.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's standpoint.
logical structure
The essay reflects a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the issue before supporting a particular stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transforming
  • consumers
  • buying and selling
  • new technologies
  • revolutionized
  • consumer experience
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • range of options
  • mobile payment systems
  • transactions
  • challenges
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