IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that new science related to criminal forensics should be used to look at old cases. To what extent do you agree or disagre

#believe #science #forensics #cases #disagre
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There is an argument that new technology should be involved to solve the old
crimes
while
 some believe that it is unnecessary. I believe that the latest science can be one of the keys
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 unsolved cases. On the one hand, the latest science requires a lot of money for focusing on old
crimes
 and it is a waste of money if they do not solve it.
Instead
, the government should invest the budget to defend
new
Change preposition
against new
show examples
crimes
 or build some facilities
such
 as hospitals which are more useful to ordinary people. Another reason is that if a case happened more than a decade
, the
Rephrase
ago, the
show examples
 evidence might be inaccurate and it is too hard to find a fact and solve a problem. So we should not ignore the limitations of these tools.
On the other hand
, in my opinion, using new technology to solve old
crimes
 can be valuable in our society. First and foremost, it brings hope to victims and their families
such
 as if there is a potential to uncover crucial evidence,
shed
Correct word choice
and shed
show examples
 new light in past investigations.
Thus
, by reopening these cases with new forensic tools, it is possible to provide answers to them.
Secondly
, it helps improve public confidence in the justice system and correcting past errors makes it worth considering and broadens a wide perspective. In conclusion, even though sometimes
this
 method is not successful all the time, I strongly believe that if used carefully,
this
 could provide a solution to a number of criminal cases.
Submitted by kim88974150 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic and provides a roadmap for the essay. Also, develop a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic to a satisfactory extent, but it could benefit from more specific examples and in-depth analysis to fully support the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • criminal forensics
  • advancements
  • evidence
  • old cases
  • science
  • technology
  • reopening
  • time-consuming
  • costly
  • new evidence
  • pursuit of justice
  • reexamining
  • overall opinion
What to do next:
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