With the development of technology, children are now living in a world that is different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this situation cause for society and family ?

#development #technology #children #world #years #situation #society

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Nowadays, the controversial topic of how

technology

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has transformed our lives in the past decades has captured our attention more than ever. Despite the numerous benefits that advanced

technology

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has brought, its detrimental

impats

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impacts

impact

children

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are increasingly uncontrollable.

This

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essay aims to discuss the dependency on

technology

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and its influence on

children

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Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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lifestyle

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lifestyles

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in the modern age. One of the main problems is the excessive reliance on

technology

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. Compared with five decades ago, since

technology

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has been intertwined in many aspects of life,

children

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can be highly unproductive without assistance from

technology

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. All intellectual abilities

such

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as abstraction, creativity, and critical thinking have been depleted by the dependence on tools like Google or ChatGPT.

Consequently

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, these

children

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are helpless in their later life when they must face difficulties. Another significant problem that needs shedding light on is

technology

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's interference in

children

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's social and physical development, which is a pressing phenomenon.

Instead

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of playing on the ground, unlike their parents did in the past,

children

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now are surrounded by various kinds of entertainment equipment

such

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iPad

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iPads

, game consoles, and computers.

This

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easy-to-access

technology

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influences them to be comfortable with a sedentary lifestyle.

As a result

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, it erodes their social life and,

consequently

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, their physical well-being. In conclusion, today's

adolescence

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adolescents

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, who are encircled by

technology

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are lacking

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lack

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the ability to stand on their own. Depending on

technology

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diminishes their social connections and weakens them physically.

Therefore

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, we need a holistic solution to rescue our

children

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from these negative effects.

This

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is not only for them but

also

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for the next generation.

Submitted by hongha8797 on Thu Jun 08 2023

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General feedback

The essay addresses the impact of technology on children's lives, outlining the problems such as excessive reliance, interference in social and physical development, and the need for a holistic solution. The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a logical structure to the essay. The main points are supported with relevant examples, demonstrating a good level of coherence and cohesion.

Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides comprehensive ideas. Provide clearer examples and specific details to support the main points. Make sure to present a complete response to the question to achieve a higher score in task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on providing a more comprehensive and organized development of ideas. Utilize cohesive devices and linking words to enhance coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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With the development of technology, children are now living in a world that is different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this situation cause for society and family ?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their major subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to their main subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of maney and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more people want to own famous brands such as cars, clothes, or other items. This is positive or negative? Give out your opinion.