With the development of technology, children are now living in a world that is different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this situation cause for society and family ?
Nowadays, the controversial topic of how
technology
has transformed our lives in the past decades has captured our attention more than ever. Despite the numerous benefits that advanced technology
has brought, its detrimental impats
on Correct your spelling
impacts
impact
children
are increasingly uncontrollable. This
essay aims to discuss the dependency on technology
and its influence on children
's Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
lifestyle
in the modern age.
One of the main problems is the excessive reliance on Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
technology
. Compared with five decades ago, since technology
has been intertwined in many aspects of life, children
can be highly unproductive without assistance from technology
. All intellectual abilities such
as abstraction, creativity, and critical thinking have been depleted by the dependence on tools like Google or ChatGPT. Consequently
, these children
are helpless in their later life when they must face difficulties.
Another significant problem that needs shedding light on is technology
's interference in children
's social and physical development, which is a pressing phenomenon. Instead
of playing on the ground, unlike their parents did in the past, children
now are surrounded by various kinds of entertainment equipment such
as iPad
, game consoles, and computers. Correct your spelling
iPads
This
easy-to-access technology
influences them to be comfortable with a sedentary lifestyle. As a result
, it erodes their social life and, consequently
, their physical well-being.
In conclusion, today's adolescence
, who are encircled by Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
technology
, are lacking
the ability to stand on their own. Depending on Wrong verb form
lack
technology
diminishes their social connections and weakens them physically. Therefore
, we need a holistic solution to rescue our children
from these negative effects. This
is not only for them but also
for the next generation.Submitted by hongha8797 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
General feedback
The essay addresses the impact of technology on children's lives, outlining the problems such as excessive reliance, interference in social and physical development, and the need for a holistic solution. The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a logical structure to the essay. The main points are supported with relevant examples, demonstrating a good level of coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides comprehensive ideas. Provide clearer examples and specific details to support the main points. Make sure to present a complete response to the question to achieve a higher score in task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on providing a more comprehensive and organized development of ideas. Utilize cohesive devices and linking words to enhance coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.