IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Researchers have uncovered a fascinating truth
:
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:
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 learning a new
language
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 is undeniably more beneficial during the vibrant and formative years of primary
school
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 than in the more analytical stage of secondary
school
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.
This
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 phenomenon can be attributed to two key factors
:
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 the remarkable cognitive ability of young
children
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 to mimic pronunciation and their innate, unbridled enthusiasm for learning.
Children
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 possess an extraordinary capacity for
language
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 acquisition that allows them to soak up new languages faster than teenagers. Their developing brains, rich in neuroplasticity, are like sponges, effortlessly absorbing and
internalizing
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internalising
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 new vocabulary and pronunciation. As young learners, they engage with foreign languages through playful interactions, where they can naturally absorb sounds and structures.
For instance
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, as they listen and observe, they often look to the faces of their teachers and peers, mimicking their expressions and sounds with an eagerness
that is
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 both charming and effective.
In contrast
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, as
children
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 move into adolescence,
this
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 eagerness often gives way to a more pragmatic mindset. They grow comfortable with their mother tongue, which serves not only as a tool for communication but
also
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 as a security blanket in their daily lives. Many teenagers may feel that the effort to learn a new
language
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 is unnecessary, believing that their native
language
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 suffices for navigating the complexities of social interactions and daily tasks.
However
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, younger
children
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 are driven by necessity and curiosity.
For example
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, when a child experiences hunger, they instinctively seek to express
this
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 need
—
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,
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calling out for food or tugging on an adult’s sleeve.
This
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 urgency compels them to learn essential vocabulary quickly, highlighting their innate drive to communicate.
Consequently
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,
children
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 in primary
school
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 are far more adept at picking up new languages than their older counterparts in secondary
school
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. Their youthful minds, filled with wonder and exploration, engage actively with new sounds and structures, often leading to a deeper and more intuitive understanding. In conclusion, I passionately believe that nurturing foreign
language
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 skills during primary
school
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 is immensely more advantageous than delaying
this
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 learning process until secondary
school
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.
This
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 advantage is beautifully anchored in the dynamic development of
children
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's brains and their enthusiastic thirst for knowledge, making early
language
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 acquisition not just beneficial but a truly transformative experience that can shape their future.

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task achievement
Make sure to include clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps the reader understand the main point at the start of each section.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more to keep the reader engaged. This can also help improve the flow of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the overall argument.
task achievement
You provide strong arguments and examples to support your points about language learning in children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • children
  • learn
  • foreign language
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • faster
  • practice
  • fluent
  • cognitive skills
  • memory
  • problem-solving
  • pronunciation
  • opportunities
  • future
What to do next:
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