IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #houses #year #two #cities #derby #nottingham #report #university #lecturer #information
the bar graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information about the
number
 of
houses
 constructed yearly in two cities
Derby
 and
Nottingham
 from 2000 to 2009. It is evident that the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
houses
appeared
Correct pronoun usage
that appeared
show examples
 in both cities increase gradually over the years.
Additionally
,
while
 its figure in
nottingham
Change the capitalization
Nottingham
show examples
 fluctuated regularly, the
houses
 in
Derby
 witnessed a stabilized increase
nearly
Change preposition
for nearly
show examples
 a decade. In 2000, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
houses
 in
nottingham
Change the capitalization
Nottingham
show examples
 was higher than
Correct article usage
the ones
show examples
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 in
derby
Correct your spelling
Derby
show examples
, 50 and roughly 48 built
houses
, respectively.
However
, In the next few years from 2002 to 2005,
while
Nottingham
's
houses
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 reduced in
number
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 14
houses
 and started to gain gradual recovery from the loss,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
houses
 in
derby
Correct article usage
the derby
show examples
 witnessed a steady increase and become stabilized at a
number
 of roughly 110
houses
 constructed. From 2006,
houses
 built in
notthingham
Correct your spelling
Nottingham
 observed a significant drop in
number
 at nearly 4
houses
 left, before going to thrive again in 2007
houses
 built which was higher than the
number
 of
houses
 of
derby
, 160 and 120 respectively.
Nevertheless
, ones in
notthingham
Correct your spelling
Nottingham
 suddenly witnessed another profound decrease in
number
 which is the same as the situation in 2006.
Submitted by nguyenmanhthi7111994 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, houses, derby, nottingham with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼

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